I'm Yours (Sequel to "You're mine")

Chapter 57: Fears and worries

- A few weeks later -

Leah's POV

I was yawning when I got out of bed. I never had problems getting up early but I didn't like it. It was just too early for me. I preferred to sleep in and stay in bed, in T's arms. I loved the weekends for that.

I tried to get my clothes on as quietly as possible so I wouldn't wake up T. I looked at her and saw she was still sleeping. She looked so peaceful. She seemed happy. I couldn't help but smile when I saw her.

I continued getting dressed and then left the room quietly. I went downstairs and went to the kitchen. I quickly made my lunch for the day, took an apple and a bottle of water. I then looked for my backpack and, when I found it, put all the food and drinks in it. 

I then realized I needed my laptop for the day and started putting it into its cover.

"Good morning, baby," T said as she entered the kitchen. "You left our bed so early."

"I've got college today," I put my laptop into my backpack and zipped it up. "I have to get my backpack ready, baby."

While I was nearly done preparing my backpack, T came to stand behind me and hugged me from behind. "I don't want you to leave me." She said before kissing my cheek.

"T," I tried wiggling out of her hug but failed. "I'll be back tonight. I've got classes till 6, so can you prepare dinner when I text you?"

She let out a deep breath. "Why don't you stay home?" Her grasp on me tightened. "I want to lay in bed and cuddle."

It was hard fighting her. Because everything she said, was exactly what I wanted too. I'd love to stay home and cuddle all day with her. I'd love to do nothing all day. But I had responsibilities. "Even though that offer sounds very very tempting," I managed to turn around so I could face T. "I have to go to college, I can't fail."

She sighed but nodded. "I understand."

I smiled a bit. "How about we go to bed early tonight and cuddle in bed all evening?"

She smiled then. "I'd love that."

"Me too," I leaned in and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too," She smiled more. "Have a great day at school."

"I'll try."

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It's true that when you're looking forward to something, it takes so long to finally get it. I thought the day would go by sooner because I had something to look forward to. But it seemed to take ages...

After every hour that passed, I sighed as I knew I had more to go through. I just couldn't wait to get home and snuggle with T. During classes, I sometimes would daydream about that. About T. About us. What a wonderful life...

During the lunch break, I decided to go into the city. Since my college was right in the middle of a huge city, I had the luxury of being able to do some shopping in between classes. I wouldn't do this much though, as I didn't like shopping on my own.

Don't get me wrong, I had friends in college. Well, I don't know if I would call them friends. They're people I'm friendly with. We talk, and I'm not alone... But I couldn't be truly me with them. I tried, trust me. But I learned they don't like gay people. So instead, I kept quiet about who I was and enjoyed the company.

So for this shopping spree, I went on my own. I was walking past the stores and looked around. At some point, I saw a baby store. I couldn't help but stop in front of it. I looked at the tiny clothes, the tiny shoes, tiny socks, toys, cribs... All the things you'd need for a baby.

Seeing all those things, made me wonder about the future T and I would have with a baby. Everything would change. The main priority would be the baby, not us. Our attention would be on the baby, not us. Our love would be for the baby, not us...

I frowned and decided to continue walking. Suddenly, I was overcome with worries and sadness. What if my marriage to T would change completely because of this baby? What if we wouldn't spend time together as we do now? What if we lose each other?

I tried to put those thoughts aside and continued to walk around the other stores until I had to go back to college.

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I was waiting at the train station. I kept an eye on the train I would need to go home with, while I looked around. Where is she?

"Leah," Cam hurried to me. "I'm sorry I'm late," She breathed in and out. "That teacher didn't know when to stop..."

"It's alright," I then looked for the train again. "We have to go though."

We hurried to the right track and went to the train. We quickly found a spot and sat across from each other. Cam was still trying to get her breathing down while I was mainly looking outside.

"Hey," She patted my leg to gain my attention. "What's up?"

I gulped. "I'm just thinking," I looked down. "I'm unsure about the future, Cam."

She raised her eyebrows. "I thought you and Talia made up," She paused a bit. "I thought things were good again."

"They are," I sighed deeply before looking outside. The train was finally moving. "I don't know how our lives will change when we do get a child," I looked at Cam then. "What if it doesn't work?"

Her facial expression changed. "It's difficult to know how the future will plan out, Leah."

I slowly nodded. "What if we're not ready? What if we don't have everything for the baby? What if we don't have the money? What if - "

"Leah," Cam shut me down. "You're nervous about it and that's normal," She put her hand on my leg, showing me a small smile. "But you've got each other to go through this wonderful journey. When it happens, you will be ready."

I gulped as I realized Cam didn't know yet. We hadn't told our friends yet. We wanted to wait. Well, T wanted to wait. But, I wanted to talk about it. I needed to talk about it. "Cam," I gulped again. "T is pregnant."

With those 3 words, Cam suddenly understood my fears and worries. I could tell she was shocked. I could tell she didn't know what to say. 

I gulped and looked down. "She's been pregnant for a few weeks," I looked back up and saw she was still speechless. "This is what she wants, and I want her to be happy, you know?"

She slowly nodded. "I'm happy for you," She smiled a bit. "This is amazing news."

I smiled back at her but I could tell she wasn't really that happy. I wondered if she was, just like me, unsure if this was really the right thing to do...