I'm Yours (Sequel to "You're mine")

Chapter 68: A woman

Leah's POV

When Heather left, T and I went both silent. I stood there, looking everywhere but at T. I was terrified to get yelled at again. I just didn't want to do anything wrong so, I stood completely still.

"I guess my anger was misdirected." T eventually said.

I glanced in her general direction but not in her eyes.

I heard her sigh. "I'm just so..." She paused a bit. "Angry, upset, frustrated... All of those feelings combined," She sighed yet again. "I'm so upset about our loss but I can't help to feel angry."

I then finally looked at her. "I'm sorry."

Her frown finally vanished. "I know," She looked down a bit. "I shouldn't have blamed you," She sighed and looked away then. "The nurses explained the whole situation to me," She gulped. "It's not your fault."

I slowly sat down by her side. "I swear I would've stopped the surgery if your life wasn't in danger," I said, gaining her attention. "I wouldn't let them take your uterus like that."

"I know," She gulped and looked down again. "I've lost everything," She said softly. "There's just no hope left." She then started sniffling.

"That's not true," I tried carefully. "There's always a way, baby."

She looked at me. "How?" She sniffled more. "I can't carry children anymore," She looked away, shaking her head. "I'm a failure."

"You're not," I then reached for her hand and, thankfully, she let me. I gently squeezed her hand. "None of this is your fault," I said softly. "It's horrible but not your fault."

She looked at me, tears streaming down her face. "What's the first thing you think about when you think about a woman?"

I raised my eyebrows. Then it occurred to me she might be trying to make a point here. "Uhm, her breasts."

She slowly nodded. "And why do women have breasts?"

Damn... "Because that makes them women."

She raised an eyebrow, she must notice how I was trying to avoid her point. "And what do women do with their breasts?"

I gulped, trying to think fast about a silly answer, anything to not get to her point. "They're great for during sex."

I could tell she was trying to fight a smile. She sighed and squeezed my hand. "You're very sweet," She smiled sadly. "But you know what I'm trying to say."

I gulped and looked away briefly.

"Women are built to carry children, it's what society expects of them," She looked down, at our hands. "If I can't do that anymore," She gulped. "Then what's the point?"

"Baby," I tried. "Society is changing too, there are women who never get children," I said, gaining her attention. "And besides, there are many ways to get children nowadays."

She looked away.

"I know you've never liked those options but we should think about it," I carefully sat down next to her on her bed. "I know you long to be a mother," I said, gaining her attention. "We have to get you that desire one way or another."

She shrugged.

"Let it rest for now," I paused a bit. "We should focus on getting you better first."

She slowly nodded.

___________________________

"I just don't know what to do anymore," I gulped. "It feels like whatever I do or say, it's not good enough."

Eva nodded slowly. "You and your wife have been through so much already, I think it's indeed a good thing to focus on yourselves for now."

I slowly nodded.

Eva looked at me, her thinking face. "You've told me a lot about your wife and how she's feeling," She paused a bit. "But you barely talk about how you're experiencing this whole situation..."

I slowly nodded.

"You can't forget about yourself either," She leaned closer. "You can't help your wife get better if you're still suffering."

"I know," I sighed. "But it feels wrong to me to talk about myself."

She leaned back, crossing her leg over the other. "Why?"

I gulped. "T went through all of this, she miscarried 4 times, she lost her uterus..." I looked down. "She went through hell," I gulped again. "Why should I have to talk about myself?"

"Because you matter too."

I looked down then.

"Why don't we try an exercise?"

I looked up at her. "An exercise?"

She nodded and got up, walking to a closet nearby. "I want you to write down exactly what you're thinking and feeling," She rumbled through the closet before retrieving a tiny notepad. "Can you do that?"

I took the notepad and nodded. "Sure."

She smiled. "It's amazing how your friend stuck up for you," She sat down again. "She could've used better words or been more gentle but it worked."

I nodded. "I don't know how she does it," I said, shaking my head. "It seems that no matter how blunt or harsh she is, things always go the way she wants them to go."

Eva chuckled a bit. "She's lucky."

"Definitely," I sighed. "Sometimes I wish I'd have that carelessness," I looked at Eva. "Like, she doesn't seem to care what anyone thinks of her, it must be a relief."

She slowly nodded. "At the same time, it's nice to care about the people around you."

"I'm not saying she doesn't care about others," I quickly said. "I know she cares a lot about T," I sighed. "She just has this bluntness."

Eva nodded. "Maybe you can ask her for help?"

I immediately shook my head. "I'm good."

She chuckled again before looking at the time. "Well, it seems that our time is done for today," She got up afterward. "We'll see each other next week."

I nodded and got up too.

She walked me back to the waiting room, where the front door was located. On our way back, we often made small talk. I enjoyed it. She was nice.

As we reached the front door, Eva stepped forward to open it for me. "Have a good week, Leah."

I smiled at her, wanting to say it back, but was surprised when I saw who was at the other side of that front door. "Heather?"

Heather waved at me. "Am I on time?"

I sighed, I completely forgot that I had asked her to bring me to the hospital. "Yes," I smiled a bit. "Thanks," I then looked at Eva. "Have a good week too, Eva," I walked out of the building, expecting Heather to follow me. "Have you been here long?" I waited for a response but, when I got none, I turned around. "Heather?"

"Eva," Heather nodded. "That's a nice name."

Eva smiled politely. "Thank you."

Heather smiled at Eva.

"I have to get going," Eva said, she was clearly feeling shy. "Nice to meet you, Heather."

Heather nodded but didn't say anything back.

Eva then closed the door.

"Heather?" I said to which she turned around. "What are you doing?"

"I was just saying hi," She walked past me. "Let's go."

I thought about it for a bit before shrugging it off and going after her.