I'm Yours (Sequel to "You're mine")

Chapter 15: I just wonder when

Leah's POV

I had been laying in bed, rolling over and just being restless altogether. Even though I was tired, and I should probably get some rest, I couldn't seem to actually sleep. Instead, I laid in the dark - something I wouldn't do - and just thought. This wasn't going to work for much longer, sooner or later we'll face our limit. I just wonder when.

I let out a deep breath before getting my phone. I didn't know why, I wasn't planning on doing much with it. I guess, I just wanted someone to talk to. But could I bother anyone, at this time? I looked at the time: it wasn't that late yet...

I decided to call Charlotte. I didn't know why I always went to her with stuff like this. I guess because she's older, she could help me in a different way than my friends could. And she knew T better than my friends did.

"Hey Leah, is everything alright?"

I sighed. "I don't know..." I rolled over again, laying on my side. "I don't know about T and me anymore."

"Oh..." She paused, seemingly processing what I had just said. "Did something happen? I thought you two were talking again and that things were ok."

"We are talking," I sighed, closing my eyes. "But that's the problem, we're talking about nothing. I so badly want to know what happened when I left, I want to know what happened with Heather, but I can't bring myself to actually ask her. I mean..." I sighed. "Is it ok to ask her?"

She let out a breath too, I heard her move in her bed. At that moment, it occurred to me I might have disturbed her night's sleep. "You're her wife, Leah, you deserve to know the truth."

I let out a deep breath before opening my eyes. "I don't know how to properly talk to her," I gulped. "I don't know what I feel anymore, honestly. I wish I could stop thinking about everything and just pretend things are ok."

She let out a breath. "You do think a lot about what you experience..." She said to which I nodded, even though she couldn't see it. "You have a choice here: you can pretend everything's alright and, maybe over some time, it will be alright. Or you could face your wife and communicate with her, to make a real change."

I sat up, I was too restless to lie down. "I..." I looked down, at nothing. I sighed deeply.

"You don't have to choose now, Leah, but it sounds like you can't continue like that for much longer."

I nodded.

"Get some rest, finish your last day of teaching practice, and then talk to Talia. If you want, I can come by and we do it together."

A little smile appeared on my face. She truly was a great friend. "Thank you, C."

"There we go," She chuckled. "The nickname! Now I know you're better."

I couldn't help but chuckle too. "It's because of you."

"Why thank you, I feel so honored." She chuckled some more.

Suddenly the door to my bedroom opened and the lights turned on. T entered the room. She seemed surprised to see I was awake and on the phone. Then it occurred to me that this must look weird to her: I told her I'd go to bed and here I was, calling someone.

"I'll call you later, bye," Without waiting for a response, I hung up. I then looked at T. "Hey, I didn't expect you so soon."

T didn't respond immediately. Instead, she looked at me, she seemed to think. Then, suddenly, she walked to the closet to retrieve her pajamas.

I sighed before laying down again, I guess I'm not worthy of a response...

T finished dressing for the night before walking to the bed, to me. She laid down and then let out a deep breath. "Why isn't your stuff back yet?"

Here we go, I thought. I looked at her. "Why would my stuff be back?"

T frowned then, she seemed confused by my response. I kept hoping she'd get the hint, maybe she'd understand I wasn't happy this way, maybe she'd see that we're not fine.

I gulped while I looked up at the ceiling, I brought my hands together, as if comforting myself. I was cold, I would love to be hugged, and yet I didn't find myself making any attempt to get close to T.

"Leah," She said, gaining my attention. She still didn't call me 'baby'... "We are ok, right?"

I looked her in the eyes and saw she genuinely wanted to know. It seemed she really believed we were fine, and I wondered why. She must feel what I feel, right?

"We are, right?" She repeated, clearly getting worried due to my silence.

I sighed and looked at the ceiling again. This was my chance, she presented it for me, I could spill all my feelings here... But I needed to get some rest for tomorrow. I couldn't do it now... So I looked back at her, I could see she was getting really upset because I wasn't answering her, and I gulped. "We are." I simply said.

She smiled a bit, though I could see she wasn't satisfied with my response. Maybe she finally saw I was battling with my feelings and thoughts. It would be about time.

Unexpectedly, she scooted closer to me. She stopped right in front of me, looked me in the eyes, and then slowly reached out to me. Her hand caressed my cheek. She showed me another small smile, which I returned.

She then gently wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her. For a moment I was worried about what her intentions were exactly, then I was upset as I realized I was worried about T interacting with me this way. Normally, any wife would be happy to be touched by their partner. Why wasn't I?

"Good night, Leah." She kissed my forehead before pulling my face to her chest.

I blinked a few times but decided to accept this gesture. "Good night, T."