I'm Yours (Sequel to "You're mine")

Chapter 14: Should I?

Leah's POV

2 weeks later, my teaching practice started. I was busy all week, teaching second-grade kids. When I'd get home, I'd have to prepare for the next day. During that whole week, T was on her own. But there was no problem there, as she was doing better. She was talking more, she was smiling more... It seemed she had gotten over her depression, though I found that to be fast.

Thursday evening, I got back home. I was relieved I'd only had to do one more day of teaching practice. I loved teaching, but it was so nerve-wracking to get judged by teachers. I'd get so nervous and stumble over my words... I was always so glad when they left.

"Hey," T said as she greeted me at the front door. "How was today?"

I got out of my jacket, which she hung away for me. "It was ok," I let out a breath. "One more day..."

She smiled at me. "You'll do well."

I looked at her. She was indeed happier. She was in a better place. And I was still wondering when I'd ask her about what triggered her all those weeks ago. I had been staying with her for nearly a month now, however, I still knew nothing.

"So do you have a lot to prepare for tomorrow?"

"Uhm..." I opened my backpack and took out the timetable for the week. "No, I suppose not..." I frowned a bit, trying to remember what lessons I'd be teaching exactly. "Though I should go over the lessons once more." I said as I put the timetable in my backpack again.

"Ok, in the meantime, I'll make us dinner." She showed me one last smile before going to the kitchen.

I watched her leave before getting up and going to the dining table. I took my laptop and started going over my lessons for the next day. As that was done relatively fast, I had some time left. I decided to go to Wattpad. I was busy replying to comments nearly every day. It took some time but I enjoyed going over them, I enjoyed interacting with the people on there. It was wonderful.
Though, when someone commented on 'You're mine', asking me how T and I were doing nowadays, I found it hard to reply honestly. I really didn't know how to describe what we had nowadays. We were friendly, we talked, we supported each other, but that was it. T still failed to call me 'baby', we hadn't kissed, we hadn't hugged each other, we hadn't had sex... Was this even still a relationship? Sometimes it felt as if T was merely my big sister...

"Hey," T came to me, sitting down next to me. "What are you doing?" She then looked at my computer screen. "Ah, more comments?"

I nodded.

"Which story?" T was, just like me, eager to read the comments on my stories. She too enjoyed reading what people said to me or my stories. I wonder if she enjoyed reading compliments for me, because she could be proud of me then.

"Our story," I motioned to the comment. "But I'm unsure what to reply."

"Oh?" She leaned in closer. She read the comment out loud and then stopped. It seemed she knew why I was having a hard time answering the comment.

"Well?" I said, gaining her attention. "Do you know what I should say?"

She gulped. "We're fine," She looked at the comment. "Tell them we're fine."

Fine... We're fine... Are we though? And what is fine? Fine sounds like the thing you say when you don't know what else to say.

"Leah?"

I looked at her, again she didn't call me 'baby'... "Yeah, sure." I then leaned in and said we're fine. It didn't feel right to me though but since T was watching my screen, I couldn't really write anything else...

After answering the comments, I closed the computer. "I'm going to get changed."

T nodded. "Dinner will be ready when you get back."

"Ok." 

I headed upstairs and let out a deep breath when I was in our room. I didn't know if T felt it too but I felt like I was walking on ice. I felt tense. I felt like I was suffocating. This whole thing didn't feel good to me anymore.

I got undressed and sat down on the bed. I had been thinking about what to do for the past days and weeks. Since the very beginning, I was here, I had my doubts to just get back. It felt rushed to me. We had words, we fought, and it was left hanging in the air. It didn't feel good to me.

After some time, I went back downstairs. I walked to the dining table and saw T was serving us. "Hey," She smiled at me. "Just in time."

I didn't say anything, I just took a seat at the table. I looked at my plate, T had made a pasta dish. It was her go-to dish. Sometimes it seemed as if she couldn't make anything else.

"Bon appétit."

"Yeah," I took a bite. "You too."

We once again ate in silence. T looked at me, unlike before. I wondered if she could read me, if she could see I was full of doubts, if she could see I wasn't happy anymore... Sometimes I wanted to scream it at her, but then again, I didn't want to trigger anything. Should I be honest? Should I just tell her what I had been feeling and thinking? But what if she takes it badly...
So, I said nothing.

After dinner, T cleared the table while I took my laptop to the tv. We'd always do this: T would watch tv and I'd be on my computer, usually writing. Today was no exception. I had been writing but I was stuck. I stopped and seemed lost for words. That never really happened to me, unless my mind's too full.

I sighed, gaining T's attention. "Is everything alright?"

I looked at her. Should I just tell her? "I'm tired," I closed my laptop. "I'm going to bed."

"Oh ok," She looked at the tv again. "I'll come in a few minutes."

I nodded and went upstairs, then it occurred to me I didn't mind her not coming to bed with me...