I'm Yours (Sequel to "You're mine")

Chapter 55: Masking pain

Leah's POV

The next morning, I was seated at the table in the kitchen on my own. I was having breakfast on my own. And, I had to say, I was enjoying the peace. I knew that when T would come, we'd fight again.

When I went to be last night, we fought. She felt misunderstood and I felt misunderstood. I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact she'd already want to try again. Why would she rush this? It's just too fast for me. But of course, she didn't see that.

The peace ended when T entered the kitchen. She didn't say anything but she shot me looks. I could tell she was thinking about things to say.

I hurried a bit so I'd finish soon. I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. I just didn't want to ruin my day before it even started.

T sat down in front of me. She sighed and looked at me. "I'm sorry."

I looked at her. She was sorry? I had expected to hear a lot of things but not that. "You are?"

She nodded. "I guess you don't understand how important this is to me, I'm sorry I didn't consider that first."

I frowned a bit. Was this an apology? It didn't sound like one. 

Before I could even say anything, she went on: "I think it will be good for us to have a common goal," She nodded, seemingly agreeing with what she was saying. "When we have a child together, we have something to work for, together."

I was just shocked. My mouth opened a bit, but nothing came out. It seemed she had completely dismissed anything I had said about a pregnancy so far.

"So I was thinking we could try it the same way we just did. I'm also going to work part-time. I think the biggest mistake I made last time was working too much."

She just kept going on and on about this, as if we had both agreed already. How could she be like this? How could she forget about the past two pregnancies? How could she forget about... me?

"And maybe you should also change your schedule at school," She said, making me open my mouth more. "Our child has to have our full support. It's the most important thing right now."

"T," I finally managed to say. "You can't be serious."

She blinked a bit. She was clearly confused. She was so into this new idea that she seemingly had lost touch with our reality.

"What you're saying..." I paused, looking for the right words. "It's crazy."

She smiled. "I love the idea too, baby." She said and reached for my hand, holding it in hers.

"No," I immediately pulled my hand back. "This is bad," I got up and created distance between us. "How can you act like that? Like..." I looked at her. "Like nothing happened?"

She frowned a bit. "I'm trying to move on," She got up too. "We experienced bad things, I agree, but we can't sit back and not live. We have to move on and continue our life."

I shook my head in disbelieve. "But this isn't the way to do so."

"All I wanted was for us to have a child," She walked to me. "How can you not want the same thing?"

"Because we just lost our second child, T," I looked away for a bit. "It just feels like we'd be replacing her. It's just not right. Not now."

She frowned more. "You hate me."

"What?!" I was so shocked to hear this.

"You hate me!" She said louder. "You must hate me, otherwise you wouldn't fight me so hard on this."

I buried my face in my hands. "I can't deal with this." I walked to the front door, took my backpack, and left.

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I went to the one person I knew would comfort me the best: my mom. I got to her house and quickly got inside. "Hey, mom." I said as I arrived in the kitchen, where she was having breakfast. I hugged her quickly before sitting down in front of her.

She looked at me and put her toast down. "What happened?"

I sighed. "T," I said to which she nodded. It seemed she knew enough already. "She's going crazy," I shook my head, still in disbelief of what I had heard. "She wants to get pregnant again," I then looked at mom. "Already."

She sighed deeply.

"I mean," I paused a bit. "It doesn't feel right to me. It feels forced. It feels like she's trying to put a band-aid on a huge bleeding wound," I looked at mom. "It's just not going to work."

She slowly nodded. "I agree with you, honey," She eventually said. "I think Talia is indeed trying to forget about her pain by distracting herself with a new pregnancy."

I buried my face in my hands. "What do I do?" I sighed deeply. "This isn't normal," I looked at mom again. "Is it?"

She slowly shook her head.

I sighed again and looked away, at nothing in particular.

"Why don't you talk to her parents?" Mom suddenly suggested. "If there's anyone who knows what to do, it should be her parents."

I sighed again. "But I don't want to go..."

She chuckled. She knew how I didn't like to spend too much time with them. T's father was alright, but T's mom could be so much to handle... 

"You're right," I concluded. I got up. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck." She chuckled some more.

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I gulped but rang the doorbell anyway. I waited and was seriously debating whether I should leave or not.

The door opened. "Hello, Leah," T's father smiled at me. "Come in." He moved aside so I could enter.

"Thanks," I looked around a bit. "I need to speak to you two," I said. "It's about T."

When he heard this, his facial expression changed. He got serious instantly. He nodded and motioned me to follow him to the living room. "Honey," He said as we both walked to the couches. "Leah is here, there's something with Talia."

T's mother looked up and saw me. She turned off the tv and gave me all her attention. "What happened?" She asked, she seemed very worried. "I thought she was doing better, that's what I heard at least."

"She is," I gulped. "It's just something that came up yesterday," I looked down a bit. "She wants to get pregnant again."

"What?!" They both said.

I slowly nodded. "I don't know what to do," I looked at them. "It feels wrong. I think she should rest and heal up. She's been through a lot, we should take the time to process this before trying again."

T's father nodded.

T's mother frowned a bit. "Well, to deliver a child," She nodded. "It's what women are made for."

I raised my eyebrows. "Yes..." I honestly didn't know how to respond to that. "I just think T is trying to mask her pain by trying to get pregnant again."

T's father again nodded, seemingly agreeing with me.

"A woman is made to carry a child, it's what God wants, Leah."

I looked at her. "Look, I don't care what God wants," I said, getting frustrated with her bizarre replies. "I only care about T's well-being, and I think she's really not doing well."

"How dare you speak like that to me?" T's mom huffed.

"Ok," T's father said, putting his hands in between T's mom and me. "I also think Talia isn't doing well," He looked at me. "We should help her."

Hearing that, I was hopeful. "How?"

"We talk to her," He looked from me to T's mother. "All of us."

T's mother nodded, agreeing with that idea. And I nodded too. I could only hope T will listen to her parents...