I'm Yours (Sequel to "You're mine")

Chapter 130: First meeting

- 1 month later

Talia's POV

"Is there anything else you'd like to say before we end today's session?"

I looked up at my therapist. She had a name, but I didn't want to remember what it was. It felt better, to me, to keep that distance between us.

She looked at me, as if trying to look right into my brain. I wondered if all therapists tried doing that.

"Leah is coming today."

She smiled and nodded. "So I heard," She kept nodding. "Are you happy about that?"

I thought about that question for a bit. Was I happy about that? Was I happy?

"It's been a while since you last saw your wife, wasn't it?" She tried again to make conversation.

I nodded.

"Do you know what you'll talk about? Or what you'll do with her?"

I shrugged. "I guess we'll talk?" I said, but more like a question. I wasn't sure what Leah and I would be doing when she would come. I hadn't seen her in ages. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what she'd want to talk about. I didn't know what she'd like me to do.

The therapist nodded. She seemed content. "I hope you have a wonderful time with her."

I didn't know what to reply to that, so I just nodded.

"Very well," She closed her notepad and got up. "That concludes our session for today. I'll leave you to it."

I nodded and watched her leave my room. When she had left, I let out a deep breath. Now what?

I got up and walked to the window. I looked outside. The cold weather somehow brought me some comfort, like I could be thankful to be in here, warm and cozy.

I looked down, at the big open place in the middle of the center. Some kids, of the people staying here, were playing while the partners were talking together. I saw families reunite, I saw friends hug each other after a long time. I wondered what Leah and I would do.
Would she bring the kids? Would she bring my friends? Would she bring my parents? Or would she be alone?

I crossed my arms as I thought about her visit. It bothered me that I got so worked up over it. She wanted me to find help, which I did. Surely, she wouldn't be angry with me anymore. Right?
I truly tried my best, but it just didn't work...

After watching the people for a while, I went to the only table in my tiny room here. It was some sort of desk. I sat on here at least twice a day. Usually in the mornings and evenings. I kept a notebook and wrote down everything I experienced here in this place. Maybe I could use this to talk to Leah?

I opened the book and took a pen.

____________________________

I was startled by a knock on the door. Even though people would knock, the doors were always open. It was a safety thing...

I turned around to see a nurse at the door. She entered a bit and smiled. "Talia, your wife is here."

I gulped. She was early...

"Are you coming?" The nurse asked. She motioned me to follow her.

Hesitantly, I got up and walked to her. We walked together down the stairs to the ground floor, the visiting area. Usually, visitors didn't go up to the rooms, so patients could get some rest too.

"There you go," She smiled at me and showed me to the table they had put Leah at. "Enjoy." She winked at me and left.

I took a deep breath before looking at Leah. She was on her own. I didn't know what to think about that, or how to feel about that. Maybe I wanted to see my kids. But maybe not. I don't know actually.

I slowly walked to Leah. It seemed I had to drag my feet. I must be worried about facing her. I guess.

When Leah spotted me, she looked at me and waited for me to be at the table. I didn't know what to think about the look on her face. She didn't seem happy or upset, she didn't seem anything. Just neutral, I guess.

"Hi." I said as I arrived at the table.

Leah looked at me. "Aren't you going to sit down?"

I looked at the table. "Yes," I sat down and then looked at her. It was difficult to look at her. "Hi." I said again before looking away.

Even though I wasn't looking at her, I could feel her staring at me. 

For a while, nothing was said. We both just sat there, in silence. She was looking at me while I tried my best to look at her. But every time I came close, I looked away again.

____________________________

"So," The therapist smiled at me. "How was your time with your wife?"

I was looking away, to nothing in particular. I just didn't feel like talking today. I didn't want to be bothered. I just wanted to be left alone. But it was too damn hard for people to get that.

"Talia?"

Instead, I had to try and try and try and try. They have no clue how hard it is for me to always try.

"Talia?" I heard her getting up. She stepped right up to me and waved in front of my face, obviously getting a reaction out of me. "There you are," She walked back to her spot. "You're daydreaming, huh?"

I looked at her and sighed deeply. I wish...

She seemed to get something was going on. I guess that's the therapist thing to do. "Talia," She sat up, suddenly getting much more serious. "What's going on?"

I just shrugged. Leave me alone! I wanted to yell. But why should I? No one is listening. No one is ever listening. I looked down.

"Talia?"

I kept looking down.

"How was your moment with your wife?"

I sniffled.

"Talia?"

I looked up at her. "Bad."

She slowly nodded, as if she had witnessed it herself. "Can you explain that for me?"

Do I have a choice? I looked away. "It was hard to be near her."

"That's normal," She reassured me. "It's been a while since you two saw or even talked to each other."

"We didn't talk at all," I looked at her. "We just sat at our table and didn't speak. I couldn't even look at her."

She nodded. "Give it some time."

I didn't like what she was saying, so I looked away. 

"That meeting was the first step," She said softly. "Your wife knows that too. The next meeting is going to be a bit better, and the one after that a bit better than the second one, and so on," She smiled a bit. "It's a process."

"Can I get some rest?"

She didn't seem pleased to hear that, but I didn't care right now. I just wanted to be alone. "Sure," She got up. "If you want to talk, ask for me, ok?"

I know she wanted me to reply, but I didn't. I just looked away and waited for her to leave. When she was gone, I started crying.