Collection of Destiel

I Found You in the Silence

Since the day he was born Castiel had been different. Not the kind of different that people would want to brag about. When most babies were brought into the world they screamed, or cried, or made some type of noise to announce their arrival. Castiel simply opened his eyes to the world around him and stared. The baby blues drank in his surroundings but he never opened his mouth to articulate it.

Growing up was no different. When the terrible twos came they simply went with little to no fuss. Keeping to the corners of rooms and watching as if he was storing all the information away in his head but making no intention to ever verbalize it. His parents were concerned but the specialists they saw said that Castiel could speak, he simply chose not to.

Rounding into teenage years he spoke up but only so that he could be left unbothered. The few words he did grace the people around him with were soft and polite in nature. When boys his age were rowdy and social, Castiel was isolated by his own choice.

When he left for college his mother fretted over whether he would ever find his groove in the world. She understood that he was inverted by nature but she couldn't help but worry that the silence was equivalent to sadness. The first time she phoned him in his new dorm he spoke briefly that he was content and then hung-up with a short 'I love you'.

Castiel didn't speak because he found words were mostly wasted on people. Few seldom people actually understood the art of listening. Instead he listened and he enjoyed the voices of others around him. It was enough to leave him perfectly content with keeping his mouth shut.

That was until he happened to have the most outspoken roommate in the entire college campus. Dean Winchester was the complete opposite of Castiel. Every second was filled with his strong voice or his infectious laughter. Cas was infatuated but he kept his distance in fear that after all those years of silence his words would fall short on the other man.

"You know, dude, you're really freakin' quiet." Dean bumped Cas' shoulder as they two were seated on the couch watching some mundane show.

Cas shrugged. "You're very loud."

Dean seemed to think over the statement before nodding with a grin. "I guess we go well together then."

Castiel loved to listen to Dean's voice. When he was telling stories his green eyes would light up the room and seem to captivate even the most antisocial people. There was never a dull moment between Dean Winchester and whomever he was conversing with. It awestruck Cas to no end how fulfilling it was to simply listen to Dean speak.

At the end of their sophomore year Dean asked Cas to move in with him into a small house just off the campus. "I mean, we live pretty good together. Never had a problem and all. It makes sense." Was how Dean talked Cas into the whole deal.

When college ended Cas started to fear that he would lose Dean. But his worrying was driven away when Dean decided they could easily stay living together in an apartment not far from the garage Dean got work in and the school Castiel decided to teach at. Both seemed to settle into it.

It wasn't until a call from Dean's phone late one evening that Cas understood what they were.

"So, you want me to pick up some Chinese on my way home?" Dean's voice was a bit fuzzy from the car purring on the other side of the phone.

Cas nodded then realized Dean couldn't see him. "That sounds fine, Dean."

"You know, for a mute you say my name a hell of a lot." Dean snickered playfully.

Rolling his eyes Cas stood from the couch and headed toward his bedroom to change out of his work clothes. "It's a nice name."

Dean paused shortly. "Fuck. There is some traffic I got to navigate. I'll see you soon. Love you."

The call ended before Cas could grasp what was spoken. He froze in the hallway with his phone still pressed to his ear listening to the inevitable silence. His heart was pounding as he tried to reason the last two words Dean had uttered into the phone. Maybe he meant as a brother, Cas decided with a nod, since he was always saying how much he loved Sammy.

Waiting for Dean was the longest hour of his life. He found himself pacing in the kitchen and staring at the phone like it held the answers he was so desperately racking his brain for. Sure, the two of them had known each other for years now, but that didn't mean... it didn't mean that Dean loved Cas as Cas had always loved Dean. There was no use even thinking about it in that sense.

When the door finally creaked open and Cas could hear some shuffling of shoes and bags his heart completely stopped. Dread washed his body cold until he felt his hands start to shake with nerves. What if Dean hadn't meant it, it had been a huge mistake, and he was going to ask Cas to move out out of embarrassment? Could Cas live without listening to Dean fill the silence of his life?

"So I got you Lo Mein since I know that that is always a win with you." Dean dropped the bags unceremoniously onto the kitchen table before heading to the fridge for a beer. "And the dude at the checkout also gave us extra white rice cause we are such regulars there."

"That's..." Cas' voice died out. Everything was too normal. It didn't sit right in Cas' stomach. They should be discussing what Dean said, or at least Dean should be discussing it. Maybe Cas had heard it wrong and Dean had said something that sounded a lot like 'love you'. It was possible.

"And you wouldn't believe the day I had." Dean rolled his eyes dramatically with a deep sigh. "This guy walks in and wants me to get his little porshe an entirely new engine so it will go faster. Honestly, what a douche."

Castiel nodded along before mechanically taking a seat and picking out his Chinese containers with shaking hands. He couldn't find it in him to raise his eyes. "Did you?"

Dean snorts. "Fuck no. I told him to go to talk my dad. Boy, did my dad just about keel over." A burst of laughter seemed to lighten the tension Cas was pretty sure he was imagining.

Cas started for the chopsticks before a calloused hand reached out and grabbed hold of his wrist. The air was kicked out of Cas' lungs as he rose his eyes and met the same green that had always been looking back at him. "Dean-"

"I meant it." Dean's face turned serious for maybe the first time since Cas had known him. "I didn't mean for it to slip like that... but I do. Just so you know. I mean... it's selfish of me, right? I have been asking you to follow me around because I didn't want you to leave but obviously you must want a life away from me because-"

"I love you, too." Cas said it as simply as he could so that Dean wouldn't second guess him. "I have since the beginning."

"Oh." Dean let his hand fall from Cas' and fell back against his chair with a stunned expression. For the first time in his life Cas had created Dean's silence.

The two sat for a long time staring at each other before Dean finally cleared his throat and reached over to pile his food onto a plate. Cas found warmth in the silence between them. His entire life he had sought out the feeling of not needing to fill a space with voice. They ate in silence. When the bags were in the garbage and the plates in the sink, the two retired to Dean's room with their fingers interlocked.

As the night swallowed them, they pressed together under the sheets and shared kisses until both their minds couldn't fight to stay awake another moment. Cas fell into unconscious with smile on his lips that spoke volumes.