Collection of Destiel

Peaceful Calmness

Prompt from anon: Can you write something about the thoughts and feelings Cas has as him and dean have their first intimate experience together? Please. Hope you enjoy the relentless fluff. First time I wrote in first person Cas, but to hell with it I will try my best.

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I stared into his eyes until I felt him start to glare at me. My eyes shot down to my fumbling hands that were resting on my lap. I couldn’t help but stare at Dean, at those gorgeous eyes that were a color I had never seen before in all of my eternal life. I couldn’t help but count the dazzling freckles that splayed his cheeks and warmed when he smiled. I know he has told me on many occasions that it was creepy, but I just couldn’t help it.

“You want a beer?” Dean’s voice broke my anxious silence.

“No thank you, Dean.” I cleared my throat and raised my eyes as Dean stood from the couch in the bunker to head toward the kitchen for a beer. Sam was gone for the night, out doing some recon with Bobby. Dean and I decided to stay home and make a movie night. I always enjoyed the movie nights with Dean. I loved when he could chuckle to himself or swear at a character on screen. This was Dean when he wasn’t trying to put on a front to people.

When he came back, he collapsed on the couch but I noticed he was closer this time. I darted a glance up to see him staring over at me. Redness warmed my cheeks as I turned my face toward the TV. We were watching Die Hard, a movie Dean praised heavily and said every person in the world should see it at least once. But now, with his leg almost touching mine, I couldn’t seem to concentrate.

As the movie progressed I became confused again at the nonsense violence. But I kept my mouth shut, in my experience when I asked questions Dean would get a little irritated. I didn’t want to upset him tonight. I let my back relax back into the couch and breathed out a low sigh. Maybe when this was over Dean would go to bed. Then I could be alone and not have to keep looking over every time he made the slightest movement.

“Tell me something, Cas.”

“Hm?” My heart faltered a moment as I watched another ridiculous explosion on the screen. I tried my hardest not to fumble with my hands anymore. But this was the closest I have been to Dean since he screamed at me about personal space. Now it was him who was breaking it.

“When you fell from Grace, did it hurt?” Dean snorted a little as if it was a joke.

“I don’t understand your laugh. Because it kind of did.” I looked over at him and tilted my head, still trying to process what he could mean by his laugh.

Dean rolled his eyes at me with a classic smirk. “It’s a pick up line some guys use. Just thought I would use it because you actually fell.”

“Pick up line?” I asked feeling more redness come over me. I stared into his eyes intently and tried to read his thoughts, but being a human all I got was confusion. I hated not knowing what he was talking about. It made me feel like I was a child.

Dean’s smirk dissolved a little and he shrugged casually. “What guys say to women if they want to like sleep with them or something. Nevermind. It was stupid.” Dean turned his eyes back to the TV and took a long gulp of his beer.

He was acting strange so I stared at him a little more until he caught on and shot me a warning glance. But I kept my ground and even felt my face leaning a little toward his. Was he using the pick up line because he wanted to sleep with me? Was that what was happening? My heart raced as he licked his lips and I felt a warmness wash over me. I was confused, but excited. An ache started to gnaw at my chest.

“Cas, please stop staring.” Dean groaned as he shifted a little and unintentionally came a little closer to me.

“Why did you use a pick up line on me, Dean? Are you ‘leading me on’?” That phrase was taught to me by Sam and I thought I used it correctly. But the face of terror Dean gave me told me I was wrong. Mechanically I let myself fall back away from him and look down at my hands in embarrassment. Of course Dean wasn’t leading me on. He like women, and even though I had no preference on gender, he did.