Collection of Destiel

Mornings

                  

Most mornings Dean had to bite back his urge to stay in bed where he was surrounded by a cocoon of warm blankets. He had to melt away from the safe haven he had built during the night and push on to the next set of monsters that were inevitably waiting for him as he entered back to the world around him. This was something he would never admit to anyone, the simple fact that most days he didn't have the energy to get out of bed. All he wanted in the world was a day to never move, to never have to stand and feel the weight of humanity on his shoulders. It was only the thought of the world crumbling that got him moving.

This morning was different, the major differences was the warm pulsing body that was pressed against him in reckless abandon. The warm body that's breathing hitched every once in a while but stayed pliant to sleep. Dean wished he could not move, not face the world, because for the first time he had an anchor that was sinking him to the bed and the warmth of their bodies.

Taking a simple breath that seemed to bring unexplainable pleasure to his chest, Dean closed his eyes harder and willed him to go back to sleep. He willed the world to not come knocking on his door this morning. Through hell, purgatory, and day to day life, Dean savored this surreal moment with every fiber in his being.

"Dean?" A sheepish voice asked through the hoarseness of morning.

"Right here." Dean didn't allow himself to peel open his eyes, but he gently shifted his free arm and lightly traced his fingertips as softly as he could down the spine that trembled under his touch.

"Good."

Dean couldn't help a chuckle burst from his chest. "You think I was going somewhere?"

"It's not funny, Dean. I thought maybe-maybe you would be gone. That is what you do with everyone else you sleep with-"

"Woah." Anger boiled inside of Dean's mind. "You honestly think I would ditch you? You aren't just a fuck and dump, Cas. We didn't just 'sleep together' we-" Dean had to bite his tongue before he let himself say 'made love'.

Cas lifted his head slowly like it weighed a ton, and though Dean still had his eyes clasped shut, he could feel the heat from Cas' intense eyes boring into his face. "We what, Dean? We engaged in intercourse. Am I mistaken in the thought that you would leave me as you do everyone else you engage in intercourse with?"

Dean gritted his teeth and tried not to feel ashamed at the way Cas was almost lecturing him. "Yeah, well, I don't normally tell people what I told you last night. So there's that."

Dean could feel Cas tense against him. The room stayed aggravatingly silent for what felt like years. In a sick thought, Dean realized time passed in this moment like it had in hell. Slow and painful. He didn't want to speak again, he was afraid his voice would crack or he would say something even more stupid that would make Cas leave.

"You meant what you said?" Cas' voice was low and cautious, like he was afraid of poking the bear in the room.

Before Dean allowed his smart mouth to retort, he peeled open his eyes and met Cas'. They stayed motionless for a moment, just seizing each other up and trying to read whatever was going on behind their misted eyes.

"Yeah, I did, alright. I wasn't drunk, or just trying to get you into bed with me, Cas. You know how I have felt about you for a long time." Dean pouted out his lip and lowered his gaze. "Don't make me say it again."

"Dean, I-" Cas choked on something before clearing his throat and easing himself a little farther away from Dean.

All Dean wanted to do was reach out and keep him close, not let the coldness come between them, but he tucked his arms under his back and tried to keep himself together.

"I am an angel of the Lord, Dean. I can't-I can't-"

"I know." The same pain that nestled deep into Dean's heart started to swell in aches that he always tried to bury. "I understand that you can't stay with me. I know that you need to go back to your duties or whatever, alright? I get that. I am sorry for what I said. I know that I can't make you stay with me, I can't make you happy like heaven can."

"You misunderstand, Dean." Cas paused as he drew in a deep breath and reached up to cup Dean's chin. He applied slight pressure until Dean's head tilted up and their eyes met again. "I don't want to leave. I don't want to go back to heaven. I want to stay here with you."

"But-"

"Humanity will be fine." Cas' eyes crinkled up in Dean's favorite smile as he bent down and pecked his lover's lips softly. "What I was going to say, is that I can't put you in danger. Loving me is not going to be easy. You thought the world was against you? Now that you are mine, heaven and hell will want to kill even more than they did before. There will be a price on your head."

Dean melted because he wasn't worried about heaven or hell, he was just worried that this perfect angel would leave him. Without hesitance, he snaked his arms around Cas' shoulders and buried his face against the warm skin of his neck.

"I can handle heaven and hell." Dean whispered before pressing a kiss to Cas' pulse.

Even though he couldn't see Cas' face, he knew he was smiling bright enough to light the room. Comforting fingers ran through his hair thoughtfully. "Shall we get a shower?"

"Not just yet. Let's just stay here for a bit."

"Ok. And Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas?"

"I love you, too, you know."