Collection of Destiel

Place in Life

The fallen angel watched as the water droplets slowly trailed down the metal. His eyes stayed trained to the path of pure unadultered black that was left in the wake of the water. Thoughts of his own marred blackness plagued his sanity as he wished it was as easy to wipe his own slate as it was to scrub and then hose down a car. If only he could find it in the world around him to be kind enough to give him his own unmarred past.

"What are you doing?" A voice rang out with rough confusion.

Morning rays of sun were quickly drying the water as Castiel shrugged and motioned the hose to spray more water. If it was up to him, he could stand here all day and watch the water, just as he once did with the bees when he was insane enough to find bliss.

"It's ass crack of dawn, Cas." Dean gruffly stated as he came to stand beside Cas in nothing but a pair of lounge pants. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, Dean turned his gaze and watched as the angel simply stood stoic.

"Time is irrelevant." The mutter came along with a slight morning breeze. "If it was morning, day, or night this car would still need to be cleaned."

Dean nodded his head when he realized Cas was in another deep pondering of life. They came frequently ever since he had given his Grace to save Dean from the Mark. On these occasions Dean gave him all he could, an ear.

"There is a car wash-"

"Why would you take it to something that charges money when you can do it yourself? Why do mundane actions such as washing cars seem to make people seek out an easier path? It is washing a car. There doesn't need to be a hassle about it. If people would only take things into their own hands, maybe the world wouldn't be so open to the misery."

Dean just stood and stared now at the stream of water, knowing that they weren't talking about washing his baby anymore. "Maybe we are afraid to take things into our own hands because we think we will break everything."

Cas huffed out a breath. "We are destined to break things. The world is designed to break and then be pieced back together. Humankind was made for that. It was made to be strong enough to fit the pieces back together. All cowardice does is make us weak."

"So why are you standing here washing a car when you could be making yourself smile?" Dean turned and watched as Cas faltered with the hose. "If cowardice is something you deem weak, why are you doing it? Why are you out here sulking and not taking life into your own hands? Huh?"

The hose dropped as Cas turned and stared at Dean with a mixture between anger and sadness. "Because I have ruined everything that I have touched. I have let the angels fall. I have let leviathans lose to wreak havoc. I have fallen in every possible way because I was not meant to function as you. If I so much as put on a façade of being human, then all I am doing is lying in the face of God. I am nothing, Dean. I am not an angel anymore and I sure as hell am not a man."

"You're right." Dean took a step closer and reached out to place his palm against Cas' cheek. Only when the fallen angel leaned into it slightly did Dean continue. "You aren't a dick angel. And you aren't just a man on the street. You're Castiel. You're the one who pulled me from hell. Not just real hell, but the hell that I face every day when I wake up and the first thing I feel is pain. I don't feel it anymore, Cas. I don't feel it when I wake up in your arms. I need you to get your shit together because I love you and I can't see you destroy yourself slowly like this. You are enough. You are enough for me and for Sam and for all the people that you are going to save just as you saved us."

Silence fell on them as the two simply stared into each other's eyes. It was familiar, the green boring into the blue. A dance they had performed for years even when their feelings were masked under the apocalypse and saving people. In that act, Cas saw the way that he was living now. The way his heart hammered when Dean's thumb rubbed against his cheek bone, and the way his gut clenched when Dean said he loved him, and the way he never wanted to close his eyes in fear of missing Dean's smile.

"It's gonna be okay, Cas. I promise. We will fit together any pieces you think that you shattered. We will fight this together just as we always have because we have that profound bond thing. We are in this together. I won't let you go." Leaning forward, Dean pressed a chaste kiss to Cas' forehead and wrapped the man snuggly into his chest. "We'll wash the damn car every morning if that is what it takes."

Cas smiled against Dean's neck and hummed lightly as his arms wrapped around the hunter's torso and hugged him tightly in a lock. "I think I found my way to live, Dean."

"Oh?"

"It's loving you."