Collection of Destiel

Left Behind

The couch was scratchy, the walls were littered with whatlooked to be children's drawings some of which were colorful and others dark,the door was shut but beyond it there was the faint distinction of footsteps and voices, the woman seated was staring at the clipboard on her lap as if every answer was plainly written, and the time outside of this office seemed to come to a body-numbing halt.

"Tell me about your brother." Her voice was kindhearted but there was traces of coldness that brought out the uniform routine of their discussions.

"Sammy? Uh-he's a good kid. Went to law school a few years back. Got himself a good job, good wife, I hear he is thinking about some kids of his own." Bitterness clogged in the back of his throat but he kept going to fill the silence. "We used to be close. I took care of the kid. Our mother... well you know... and our father was out a lot so it was mostly me and him. I taught him how to play baseball. Should've known he'd become a little nerd since he couldn't catch worth a damn. But he is strong, not strong like a body builder... more strong like he survived a lot of shit. I always tried to shield him from the shit of the world... I thought I did my best, yknow, but I was still a kid and... I tried my hardest but still he left."

"Left how?"

Dean ran his trembling fingers through his hair before taking a shuttering breath. "I took three jobs when I dropped out of high school. Made sure he had food and clothing and he was up for school every morning. I cooked him dinner no matter how exhausted I was. Always drove him to his clubs and hangouts. I loved him until the point that I almost broke. I worked hard because he needed me. I quit my entire life because I couldn't stand the thought of him seeing how miserable our lives were. The day he came home with the acceptance letter to Stanford..." A single tear drifted down his cheek. "I was happy, yknow? I was proud. I raised a kid who was a fucking genius. But-uh-when he left for school... it was empty. I was working and coming home and there was silence. I missed his goofy smile. I missed him telling me about his day. But he was happy and that was all that mattered.

"I emailed and called every day for about a month since he left. Then the emails stopped coming back to me. He stopped taking my calls. Which I understand, you know? He started a life. He had friends and school and... but it hurt. I miss tossing his hair and calling him 'Sammy' and having him glare at me for it. When-uh- the thing happened I got a call from him. It was very formal. He just wanted to know that I was okay. I lied... said I was... and then he said he had to go and hung up." Through the confession Dean hadn't noticed the tears that now puddled on his lap.

"Did you feel that he abandoned you?" More pen scribbling on the clipboard, but her eyes never rose to meet his.

Dean let his eyes wander over to the open window. As his mouth opened he watched a few drops of rain spatter the glass. "That's a weird way of thinking about it. Honestly? I don't know. I have been abandoned by everyone in my life... I don't want to think that Sammy did that. He was different. We were going to stay close. He promised me that one night when we stayed up to watch a marathon of his favorite show. He looked me in the eyes and told me that he would never leave me. But people break promises. People break things... and I guess in his mind he was just going off to make a life for himself."

"The last time you spoke to him was after the incident?"

"Yeah. Couple weeks now... I sent him a few emails just saying that I was alright. Didn't hear back but I guess I didn't really expect to." Dean cleared his throat when he felt the bile start to build. "No one really cared when it happened... no one except Sammy called. Which is I guess why I did it in the first place."

"You mentioned last session about a friend you had a few years ago. Did you think of calling him?"

Dean's heart plummeted. "No." He managed to catch the choked sob before it burst from his lips. "I-I didn't. We didn't part on the best of terms and I didn't think he'd care if I called him now. He has a whole life now. A woman who comes into the garage told me that he is a professor now at some college. Maybe he has a husband by now. Probably some kids, he always loved kids. I was just... I was just a thing to him."