Collection of Destiel

Regret You

Won't you let me know you when the days are all gone?

"You know, I've never seen the Grand Canyon." The words that left Dean's mouth were more to himself than the man seated beside him.

Castiel nodded thoughtfully as his eyes chased the trees that were flying by the Impala. "You should see it."

"Yeah, I guess so. Now that... everything is over." Dean's voice dropped just a beat but he didn't allow it drain his good mood. Instead he reached over and turned the volume up on the radio.

The fallen angel didn't mind the drop of conversation. Since falling from grace he found that most conversation was wasted on words that were meaningless. The reason he even decided to go with Dean on this exploration of the world was so that the only conversation he would have would be meaningful. It seemed to Castiel that no word from Dean's lips were ever a waste. They were all the riddles to Dean's self, all leading Cas to finally know the man behind the hunter.

It's like I never knew
That love was made by two
I scare myself by lusting for the harder dreamers

And after finding you
I see that now it's true
It's never what I'm told but how I chose to make it.

Another barn passed by Cas' vision. His thoughts idly travel back to the night he met Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man. Sometimes, in the coldest of nights when Dean shifts away from him, he can still feel the numb pain of where the knife was driven into his chest. If it had been an angel blade, Cas wonders, would he have been happier? Would it have been better for himself, Dean, and humanity if he would've been killed that night when he first met the man that led to his downfall? Or would he be running circles in his afterlife chasing this hole that had always been inside of him?

Of course if he had been killed that night he would never have had the chance to get to know the man know belting out Def Leppard lyrics beside him. He would never have found himself a home carved by the Winchesters and breaming with so much hope sometimes Castiel can't stand it. He was a worthless angel, after all, what in his existence made him worthy enough to have Dean's heart?

Love was folklore in heaven, it was preached about but no angel had been bold enough to dare feel it. And here Castiel was, wingless with nothing to his name but a promise that Dean would love him for the rest of his mortal life, contemplating whether or not all of the heartbreak they had journeyed through has been worth it.

Won't you let me know you when the days are all gone?
Sleeping on your shoulder while you're driving your car, yeah
Boy we ride forever when you're flying with me
Yeah I'll always let you know
Won't regret you when I go.

Dean reached down to lower the volume enough to be able to be heard. "Hey, you wanna stop for the night?"

Cas didn't notice until that moment that he had been leaning across the bench seat with his head nestled against Dean's shoulder. It was usual now, this contact between them, that sometimes it caught Cas off-guard how naturally it occurred. "I'm fine, Dean. Are you tired? If you need to rest-"

"Nah, I'm good, sweetheart. Just makin' sure you're okay. You can take a nap if you want." Dean easily rolled his shoulder and wrapped his arm around Cas'. "Comfy?"

"Yes." Castiel clenched his eyes shut and listened to the purr of the engine.

It was one of Cas' favorites times with Dean, when they were riding in the Impala. It seemed to be the only place that Dean was himself. He didn't have a younger brother to protect, a world to worry about, monsters to fight... all he had was his angel and the road. It makes Cas smile even now to know that together they could be happy. And when it ended, whether it was a break up or death, that Castiel wouldn't be able to regret the decision he made to fall from heaven for Dean Winchester.