Collection of Destiel

Smells Like Home

“Do you love him?” Sam met his brother’s eyes. “I don’t mean to ask if you love him like a brother, Dean, I mean do you really truly love him?”

Green eyes fell to the floor as he contemplated how to answer the question that he always feared. A million and one ways to deny it ran through his mind, but this time he was too tired to speak a lie. He was too exhausted to worm his away out of a question that even he never answered in truth in his own thoughts. Years of misguided denial had built up an urge to always say no, to always hide the feelings that he knew would destroy him if given the chance.

“I-“

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I do.” The words tasted bittersweet. “You know that I do.”

“I know I know, but do you?” Sam leaned over the table and pressed a comforting hand against his brother’s shoulder. “I have seen it since the moment you told me about him. The moment you described this savior who gripped you and raised you from hell. Which is why I don’t understand why we are sitting here, the apocalypse over, without him. I am still trying to understand how you can be an ignorant asshole and send him away.”

“Because, Sammy, he doesn’t love me.” Dean felt his heart give out in ways he wished he could forget. This was the same pain that came when his mother died, when his father died, when Sammy died. “How could he?” Raising his eyes, he met Sam’s without realizing just how much he was pleading to his brother to make this pain go away.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Sam pulled his infamous bitchface and glared down at his brother like he was the biggest idiot on the face of the earth. “Are you kidding me? Are you really that stupid that you can’t see the way he looks at you? Dean, the man rebelled against heaven for you. You are the reason he is walking around without wings. I swear to God, Dean, if you weren’t my brother I would punch you in the face right now. I have sat around here watching you two eye fuck each other for years. I just can’t take it anymore because if you let him go this time, there is a chance he will go for good. Do you really want that? Do you really want him to go and never come back? Are you willing to let him just walk out of your life forever?”

Dean’s breath hitched. The thought of life without Castiel was burning a hole somewhere inside him. All at once he couldn’t breathe. Everything in life was in front of him. He only had what he could touch, that’s the way he was raised. If he never got to see Castiel’s blue eyes, his scrunched confused face, his messy dark hair, his unruly trench coat, his unrestrained smile, his laugh at stupid jokes, his newfound sense of pop culture references, or the way he looked at Dean… then life didn’t seem to be worth a damn.

“Sam, I-“

“Go get him.” Sam winked before bringing back his hand and staring into his brother’s eyes with all the love he could possibly muster. “And so help me God if you don’t kiss him the moment you see him I will kick your ass into next Tuesday.”

'

“Cas?!” Dean’s voice choked out as his eyes darted down the streets of the small town just a few miles from the bunker. When Dean had told Cas to leave, told him that they didn’t need him anymore and he could be on his way, he figured the ex-angel would come here. All his hopes were holding tightly onto the thought that Cas hadn’t gone far. That for just once in his life, Dean would have some good fortune and find the man he loved before his heart broke completely.

Dean remembered back to when he was younger and he had asked his father what love was. They had been hauled up in some crappy motel room with Sammy asleep while Dean and John cleaned guns. He was only about fifteen, maybe sixteen, but he had seen couples before and he wanted to know how you would know when you found the one worth fighting for.