Collection of Destiel

Paper Lanterns

"So when are all my troubles going to end?
I'm understanding now that
We are only friends
To this day I'm asking why
I still think about you
As the days go on I wonder
(Will this ever end?)
I find it hard to keep control
When you're with your boyfriend
I do not mind if all I am is
Just a friend to you
But all I want to know right now
Is if you think about me too... ?" - Green Day

"Yeah, but, like... Lord of the Rings pales in comparison to Star Wars." Dean's eyes glinted with the playful challenge in his voice.

Castiel rolled his eyes as he snuggled deeper into his couch. "Star Wars is simply an analogy of World War II only with light sabers and science fiction drizzled on top. There is nothing original about it."

Dean made a gargling sound in the back of his throat as he pressed a hand against his chest. "How dare you!"

Cas let a chuckle slide. On days like this, when Dean was over at his house and there was no one besides them, he could imagine that all his heartache was only a nightmare. He could look into Dean's eyes and forget that Dean had a boyfriend to go home to. He could forget that his best friend of almost seven years might love him back. It was hopeless, and painfully so when Dean did walk out his door, but it was what Cas held onto.

"I'm just stating the facts."

"Opinions." Dean scowled at Cas with mock hurt. "They're your opinions and they suck."

Cas let out a small laugh. He loved when he had Dean like this. When they could joke and simply be together. "My opinions do not-"

He was interrupted by a ringtone blaring through the once quiet room. Dean quickly squirmed to get his phone from his jeans pocket before eyeing over the screen. "It's Benny. I'll be right back."

Castiel felt his heart sink into his abdomen as he watched his best friend walk out into the kitchen. He could barely pick up on the words Dean was saying. It hurt like a million small cuts were being applied over every inch of his skin. There was molten lava searing down through his chest as Castiel closed his eyes and willed the tears to stay away until after Dean had left.

It was Cas' own fault. He knew that. Dean had always been open about his bisexuality, ever since they first met. But Cas... Cas was still coming to terms with his homosexuality and by the time he realized he was in love with Dean, Dean was dating Benny. So Cas stayed a loyal friend. Even if his heart was breaking slowly, he would never do anything to break up Dean if Dean was happy with someone.

He could be a good friend. At least that's what he told himself every time he saw Benny make Dean smile. Even when he felt like screaming until his throat ripped or clawing at something until his fingertips bled... he would remain a friend if it kept Dean happy.

Dean came storming back into the living room with a shit-eating grin on his face. "I gotta go. But we will continue this outrageous conversation. How about tomorrow? I get off early and there's this new book store Benny was telling me about that I know you would love."

Castiel smiled but it never reached his heart. "That would be lovely."

"Awesome." Dean gave him a soft wave. "See you then." And with that Dean was gone.

Castiel slumped down into his pillows. His face melted against the soft fabric until he felt the tears slowly drench his face. He prayed, just as he did every day, that God would give him the strength to move on.

TWO MONTHS LATER

Castiel's face paled with a reserved smile. "You can't be serious."

"'Course I am, gorgeous." Mark slowly traced his fingers along Cas' cheekbone. "Come home with me tonight."