Collection of Destiel

No Place Like Home

I just rewatched the scene where Dean and Crowley were having their heart to heart in Season 10 (my family is catching up on Netflix) and tonight we watched the episode where Metatron was cornering Cas about his mission and the angels not being a family. I realized that these two scenes would be beautiful combined with Destiel. So here it is. Hope it came out as great as it sounded in my head.  

'

Castiel hunched deeply onto himself as he gripped tightly to the shot glass in his hand and whipped his head back to drown the amber liquid. His throat burned as he slammed the glass onto the bar and let his eyes fog over. After a few moments he let go of a breath he had been holding since he first touched Dean in hell and was lost.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A rough voice came from his left as a bar stool squeaked and then a weight fell on it.

Castiel didn't reply as he grabbed a bottle of the strongest liquor in the bar and poured himself another shot. Without a word he slid the bottle to his left and downed another burning gulp of what he thought might bring his mind to silence. If he drank enough maybe he could escape the words that were replaying eternally in his head.

A shot was poured and downed by his visitor. "You know that-"

"Don't." Cas clenched his eyes shut. "Please, don't talk right now."

Silence filled the empty bar as the two men simply sat. A few more shots were shared before Castiel finally turned his head and met green eyes. The same green eyes that cost him his mission. The same green eyes that made him yearn for humanity for the first time in his angelic life.

"I don't have a family, Dean." Cas closed his eyes against the green eyes that always shook his core. "I was a fool to think that my brothers and sisters ever cared about me. But... but they were only doing what they were told. There is no love when it is commanded. Our Father made us to love each other but in that there was never any feeling close to love shared between angels.

"I have put all of myself into thinking that my mission was to protect that family, that family that was only an illusion. But what am I fighting for? I will never be welcomed back into the gates of a home that now seems as though it was never my home. It's simply a place. There has to be love for it to be a home... and now I am lost. Metatron was right. I don't have a family."

"Metatron is a lying-"

"He is many things," Cas turned back to his glass and took another shot, this time letting the burn sit in his mouth before he softly swallowed it, "but this time he is right. I thought that we were siblings. I thought that because of that we were family. I am not even an angel anymore. I don't know what I am."

Dean set down his full shot glass before turning his eyes on the breaking man beside him. "A wise man once told me that 'family don't end in blood'. And you know what? It doesn't start there either. Family is there for you through the rough times and through the good times. Family fights for you until their dying breath. You know what else family does for one another?"

Cas turned his eyes to Dean with awe and curiosity. "What?"

"They rebel against Heaven. They rebel against what they have known their entire life because they believe in you. They go into the flames of hell to pull your ass out. They break through mind control and tell you that they need you because they are afraid that they won't be able to make it without you. They put up with your weird ass when you go crazy because you saved their brother. They pray to you, every goddamn night, because they care about you and they worry." Dean reached out a shaking hand and gripped tightly to Cas' shoulder. "They love you as much as you love them."

"Dean-"

"You're our family, Cas. Sammy loves you like a brother. And I... I love you so much it scares the everlasting shit out of me. Those angel dicks don't know what they're missing. I don't want you to ever feel like you don't have a home because when you are with me I feel like I am home for the first time in my life. And you know what you are? You're Cas. Not Castiel, not Steve... you're Cas. And I fucking love Cas. He's the best man I've ever known. He's saved my ass. He's saved humanity. He has made mistakes, who hasn't, but every mistake was because he was trying to do good."

Castiel bit the insides of his cheek as he felt water build in the corners of his eyes. "Dean-"

"Me saying all this is long overdue." Dean pulled Cas against his chest and hugged him awkwardly as between the bar stools. "And maybe it is me being scared that the Mark might change me for good and I won't be able to say this again. So I need you to know this. I can't stand the idea of you ever thinking you don't have a home or a family. Sammy and I will always be there for you Cas. I will never stop loving you."

This time Cas didn't try to speak. He understood that it was Dean's turn to talk. Instead he wrapped his arms around Dean's large frame and nestled himself as deeply as he could into the home he had carved out for himself since he first took his fall from heaven.

"I love you." Dean pressed a gentle kiss against Cas' head. "And I still need you. I will always... need you, Cas."

Castiel closed his eyes and allowed himself to find the peace he had been searching for when he grabbed that bottle of liquor. Metatron's words left his mind as he allowed himself to melt into the words his Dean was proclaiming to him.

"I love you, too, Dean." Cas pressed his forehead against Dean's pulsing throat. "You have always been my mission. No matter what I did... no matter the carnage I left behind or the pain that followed behind me... I did it all for you."

"C'mere." Dean's voice was soft as he tugged Cas back so that their eyes could meet. The hunter smiled and for the first time since the Mark was burned into his arm it was a genuine smile.

And Cas didn't waste any time leaning up and tasting that smile. It tasted like salvation.