Collection of Destiel

What Is Love?

“What is love?” Cas asked as he started to pick single strands of grass up in the midst of his tiny hands and rip it to shreds against his palms.

“Huh?” Dean had been concentrating on trying to break a stick under the weight of his foot to notice the question from his best friend.

“Love. Mommy says it is something that adults feel when they meet someone they want to spend the rest of their life with.” Cas’ blue eyes searched the empty skies before he sighed deeply and let his body fall back against the full grass.

Dean stuck out his bottom lip and scrunched his brow together in thought. His eyes watched over his friend as he dropped the stick and sat down cross legged. “I don’t know, Cas. I thought love was just made up stuff in fairytales to make kids sleep at night.”

“But what is it?”

“What do you mean?”

Cas ran his hand through his matted hair and tilted his head slightly to peer up into Dean’s eyes. “I mean, how would you know if you love someone?”

“I don’t know.” But Dean thought about it hard, because every time Cas brought him a question he had to answer it. It was one of the things that just happened when the two met in their first grade class only a year ago. Cas asked the questions and Dean came up with his best answer. “Maybe you just feel like. Like when you see a toy you really want and you just have to have it.”

“Maybe.” Cas tilted his head to the side and squinted at Dean carefully. “I think I love you.”

Dean flushed as he waved his hand in the air outrageously. “Shut up.”

“Really, I do.” Cas grinned and sat up so that their faces were just a little closer. “I love you.”

“Okay.” The green eyed boy shrugged and ducked his head. “Maybe I love you, too.”

“Good.” Cas giggled with excitement.

“You wanna go play in the lake?”

Cas nodded and the two boys bounded off toward the glimmering water.

THIRTY YEARS LATER

“Daddy, what is love?” The girl cuddled up against her father’s chest asked between a squeaky yawn. Her eyelids were heavy but she grasped onto her father’s shirt and willed herself to stay awake.

Cas stared down at his precious daughter now wrapped snuggly in his arms. “Love is something very special, honey. It is a feeling that starts deep in your stomach when you find someone special, and if you are very lucky, it never goes away.”

Mary smiled as she gazed up into her father’s loving eyes. “You love Dad, don’t you?”

“With everything that I am.” Cas bent down and kissed the top of her forehead before cradling her gently into her bed. He made sure to tuck the covers under her chin just like she likes it. His eyes never left her gentle face as she huffed out softly and tilted her head to ease into sleep. “I love you, too, honey.”

“Love you, daddy.” Mary’s words were faint and lost as her chest rose a little higher and fell a little deeper.

Cas paused as he straightened up. His eyes fogged over a little at the memory of the time he asked Dean what love was. The same memory of when he first told someone other than his family that he loved them. And although through his life he had said it to others, he never meant it as much as he had when it first left his lips.

“Cas, you coming to bed?”

“Be right there, Dean!” Cas paused only a moment more. Staring down at the fragile human being that was now his daughter. He thought about all the people he had tried to love, all the relationships that had failed, and how lucky he was to be back here with the man who started it all.

His feet carried him sluggishly down the hall of their home and into their bedroom. Without clicking on the light he made his way onto their bed in the dark like he did most nights after putting their daughter to bed. Before his head had the chance to hit his pillow warm arms wound themselves around his chest and brought him against his husbands bare chest.

“I love you.” Cas whispered into the darkness as his eyes fluttered shut and he allowed himself to breath in the perfect moment.

“Love you, too.” Dean whispered against his ear and snuggled their bodies until they fit just like they did every night before sleep.

Cas drifted off to sleep with a smile on his lips. In his mind, he reminded himself that for the first time in his life, he knew what love was. Love was the faint beating of his husband’s chest against his.