Collection of Destiel

Carry You

Sabriel. Song is Carry You by Jimmy Eat World.

'

When I know I'm all alone
Say your name slowly
And I know that I'm alone
But I'll carry you

Gabriel stood at the edge of the building roof and let his golden eyes drink up the city life below him. Millions of people scrambled down the streets in search of their warm homes. Street lights glimmered and cast ominous shadows along sidewalks that reminded the archangel that he was one of those shadows. His life has always been that of hiding behind plain sight, easing himself into a figment of human’s imaginations and breathing just beyond the barriers of humanity. Hiding wasn’t so bad in the past, but now there was a man out there who needed him.

Does it feel good like a memory
When you try some history
It's a dream to come around
The rule doesn't bend,
Because the taste doesn't taste the same again

Gabriel tried to cast the face of his hero out from his mind. He tried desperately to focus on the humming from the machines working all around him. The night air was chilly but it didn’t pinch his skin. The goose bumps along his arms were from memories, not the cold. The archangel let his eyes close and tried to damn the world around him. He tried to stop the memories and feelings of his hunter from resurfacing.

It's easy feeling righteous when removed
All you'll get as what you wanna hear
It hurts because it should
How else am I to make it clear?

Gabriel left because he had to. His heart was beating again. That was dangerous for everyone around him. His soul wasn’t built to love, it wasn’t built to care for another. His life was simple and that was always what kept him safe. Every step he took in the opposite direction should have made the pain ease, but it didn’t. Instead he was left feeling empty for the first time in his existence. No matter the women he summoned or the sugar he consumed, he was still empty. A hollow man standing where an archangel used to.

I could never be the one that you want, don't ask.
Well, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed.

“Gabriel, I love you.” The words had been spoken only months ago in the shady confines of a rotting motel room. The words that had broken everything Gabriel had spent millennia trying to build. Everything about those spoken words was a curse, a damning that Gabriel wasn’t ready to face. When it all started, Gabriel wanted it to stay light. He wanted to just enjoy the man that he allowed himself to get close to. Love was never supposed to bloom between them.

Maybe a lie is what I need sometimes
You told the most and best of anyone
You said to "keep me in your pocket"
So I carried you

The memories of those haunting eyes caused tears to stream down Gabriel’s face. His heart ached in ways he never imagined. If only he could allow himself to fly back and take his man in his arms. He would never let him go again. He carried the memories with him to keep him away. The burning sear of pain that always punctured his chest was a reminder that he was no good for his love. An archangel was not meant to fall in love with a human, it was forbidden.

You better choose your words carefully
Because I'm not your anything
Gonna stay here in my place
And you'll stay in yours because
You're only good as what you're good for

“Sam.” Gabriel let the name slip from his lips before he found the strength to stop it.

I pace around the room to spend the time
Waiting while the burning pictures fade
One thing to make your mind
And another to say its name

“I love you, Sam.” The tears stopped as Gabriel opened his eyes up back to the world and saw the light from the city. He saw that he could live in that light. He didn’t have to hide. There was an answer to all of this. There was hope.

I'm still carrying a little hope that
Maybe things could get different now
Is that so wrong, is that so wrong, is that so wrong?

His wings took him before he could stop himself. They carried him to the ledge that he had been so scared to leap from. The city left his vision and was replaced with a motel room. Gabriel took a step, just enough to finally see the bundle of breathing life that was wrapped up in a comforter. The archangel didn’t speak, he couldn’t seem to find the words. But he bent lower down over Sam and breathed against his neck.

Would I see you tonight
At a place we go?
Could going through the motions, lead to real emotion?
I wanna make things right
Before time runs out.
It was like you said, the taste don't taste like it should
Roll down the windows
Let the cold air come in
Slap my face just feel you somehow again, again....

“Sam?”

“Nnnh. Five more minutes.” Sam’s voice was rough but it had never sounded more beautiful to Gabriel’s ears.

“I waited a long time to come back I guess five more minutes won’t kill me, kiddo.” The archangel bent back a little but watched with a faint smile as Sam’s body tensed.

“Gabe?” The voice was weak and almost scared. “Is that you?”

“Yeah, Sam. I wanted to apolo-“

“Don’t.” Sam buried himself deeper in his blanket and balled himself up protectively. “Just go. I don’t want to hear it. You left me.”

I could never be the one that you want, don't ask.
Well, here's to living in the moment
'Cause it passed.

“I will never leave you again, Sam.” Gabriel’s voice broke off as he fidgeted and ran an anxious hand through his hair. “Never again. I love you.”

“What?”

“I said that I love you. And I ran because I was scared of what that meant. But I always have, Sam. I have always loved you.” Gabriel turned his back to the bed because he just knew that Sam would throw him out. He had waited too long to come back, he had waited too long to finally come to terms with what was right.

Long firm arms wrapped themselves around Gabe’s waist as a chin nestled against the crook of his shoulder. Gabriel melted back against Sam’s chest and he closed his eyes to breathe in the moment.

“I love you.” Sam whispered against the shell of his ear as he drew them closer. “Don’t you leave again, Gabe.”

“Never.”

But I'll carry you