Collection of Destiel

Searching For Something

Prompt from anon: Au where you are Cas and you are on the road trip but Dean is there too.

'

I barely remember my time flying through the sky, sometimes late at night I am hit with flashes of the sky surrounding my wings. After falling from Grace, it seemed that memories of flying were lost to me, like sand slipping through my fingers. I can barely recall the weight of wings on my back, or Grace pulsing through my vessel's body. It seems like a distant memory, one that you remember in the groggy fogginess of a waking moment.

Understanding what I am now, is something that scares me more than the oncoming apocalypse. I am afraid more than I have ever been in my existence. That's why I packed the car. That's why I am walking away from the monsters under the bed so that I can finally battle the monsters that are clawing at my mind. I am searching for meaning to my own humanity. I feel like I am caged in a body that was never meant to hold me. I yearn for a journey that will finally allow me to melt into my new place in this world.

'

"How about we stop soon for some food?" Dean's voice interrupted my thoughts as he let the Impala cruise around a bend in the road.

I rolled my eyes and let the side of my cheek fall listlessly against the cool crisp window. "We just left thirteen minutes ago, Dean."

When I told the brothers that I planned on a road trip to clear my head, Dean had refused to let me go on my own. He told me that I wasn't used to this world yet as a mortal. I know that if I could still read his mind he would've been thinking that I would get myself killed. That was just like Dean, thinking that I couldn't handle myself. I was still reeling from the time he called me a baby in a trench coat.

"Yeah, well, it's lunch time."

"If you are trying to delay the ride, because you think I will want to back out, you are wrong. If you don't want to go with me, pull the car over and get out." I didn't mean to be snappy, but I was just angry. Ever since I fell, I began to lose patience in everything. I figured getting away would help melt my anger.

"If you are going, I am coming. Cas, I am not going to let you deal with this alone. Plus, I have been all over the country and I know exactly where the good places are to go." Dean gripped the wheel and fell silent.

I watched the baring trees whip past our car. The roar on the impala calmed my heart. I liked riding along in a car, it seemed so simple. All I had to do was sit back and just watch the world fly past me. I could let it all slip from me, I didn't have to reach out and grab it. If we drove far enough, we could go back in time. Maybe if we drove fast enough, I could find my wings.

'

"I don't understand." I whispered as my feet hit the scolding hot sand and disappeared almost instantly under my weight.

A warm hand grasped my shoulder, since the few days into the road trip Dean had begun to constantly touch me in some small way. I leaned against his hand for comfort of this new unknown as he stepped a little forward with rolled jeans up around his calves. My eyes rose and they met his. I was speechless as his face was warmed by the unrelenting sun, the years of misery seemed washed from his eyes. Another whiff of salt made my face scrunch a little against the ocean breeze.

"It's a beach, Cas." Dean sighed and let his hand graze down my arm until he grasped my wrist.

I tensed only for a moment before I relaxed and let him drag me farther down the scorching sand. The beach was vacant, except for few seagulls that flew around us on their own missions. I wondered suddenly what this beach would look like from the air. But I didn't have much time to wonder because soon I felt something ice cold spray across my feet.