Collection of Destiel

Warmth in Darkness

Time stops when the sound of his husband's heartbeat is lost in distance.

Dean rests back against their bed with his head against the backboard and listens to measured steps that lead to the opening and closing of their front door. His eyes are open, but all he sees is darkness.

When he was younger people would ask him what it is like to not be able to see. He'd tell them that it is darkness, that all life is to him is noises and the objects he can feel in his grasp. He'd gone through life thinking that the only thing that was real was what he could feel in a moment. Surrounded by darkness he didn't know if the world was real, or if he was perpetually falling in some dream.

Now his life's meaning is found in the warmth of his husband. The warmth that comes with every breath that reaches Dean's ears, every wayward sigh, and every small shift of weight from foot to foot, every smile pressed against his neck, every single moment that is spent with Castiel.

There had been lovers before, those who would hold Dean at night or keep his mind from dulling away in the darkness. But none of them held the light that Castiel brought to Dean's mind. The world was no longer a bitter poem, a numbing hand on a clock, a bench beside a bus stop. The world began to find a rhythm, it began to come to life under his fingertips.

Castiel was Dean's shield against the emptiness that came when his eyes were open and the loneliness of never knowing what the world was shaped to be around him. Castiel was Dean's emptiness, it was all he saw in the darkness. There were times when he prayed that he died before Castiel, because a day without him seemed to be worse than the impending darkness surrounding him.

The door opened and closed again, the sound glimmering off of the walls surrounding him. He exhaled deeply when he heard the steps bend under familiar weight. The heartbeat came back, and with it brought a simple smile to Dean's lips.

"You are very lucky, honey, because they were almost out." Castiel's voice was as melodious as it has always been, since the first time it reached Dean's ears all those years ago.

"I'm lucky I have such a whipped husband." Dean snorted when he felt a plush pillow hit his upper thigh.

Weight fell on the bed, Dean grinned as he waited and felt as his husband shifted and came to settle against his side. The two of them melted together, Dean grabbing Cas' wrist and finding the place where his pulse drummed. He loved being able to feel Cas' life just under his finger, liked the reminder that he was really truly there beside him and not just a ghost of a voice.

"Next time you want a stupid ice cream sandwich, I am going to remember that comment." But there was no malice in Cas' voice, only pleasant fondness. "Maybe I should eat it myself."

Dean let his head fall against Cas' shoulder and snuggled closer until there was no more room to close. "Maybe I should withhold sex for a week."

"Such a little brat." Cas chuckled and Dean could hear the plastic wrapper being opened.

The feel of chilled substance hitting his lips made Dean's heart flutter as he parted his lips and took a bite of the ice cream sandwich, savoring the sweetness of it. Most of the time he hated when people treated him like a baby, but he knew that Cas was only being his romantic self.

"Happy Anniversary." Cas whispered as a pair of lips pressed against his forehead. "I love you, you know."

"Do you? I had no idea." Dean opened his mouth and tilted his head expectantly.

They ate the ice cream in silence, marveling at the feeling of twitches and shifts in the other. Dean knew that Cas had his eyes closed, knew because his husband always wanted to make them equals. It made Dean smile, as he curled up against him, that he could be as lucky as he was at this moment.

"I love you, too." Dean closed his eyes and breathed out deeply. "Every day, Cas, I thank every God in every religion I know of for getting to have you."

"Gods have nothing to do with it." Cas tossed the wrapped away as he turned onto his side and crushed Dean against his chest. "It's you and me, and it always will be."

Dean couldn't help the tear that escaped his closed eyelids as he gripped tightly to Cas' shirt and allowed himself to imagine that there was no world outside of the warmth he felt with Castiel. "You and me."

A chaste kiss brought Dean's heart to a hammer. His hand moved on its own over Cas' chest and he felt under his fingertips the way that he held Cas' heart. The kiss ended but Cas kept pressing his lips against as much skin as he could find without detangling their embrace.

Into Dean's skin, Cas' lips carved the sight that Dean would never have a chance to miss.