her girlfriend.

fourteen

My eyes shoot open much quicker than normal. Sitting up in an instant and looking all around what I'm reminded is her bedroom.

Not that dirty, rusty old basement I was locked in. And I'm not with the crazy white, kid-killing man. I'm with my girlfriend.

My extremely concerned girlfriend. It was her voice that was telling me to wake up. It wasn't him. He is gone, and I need to convince myself that.

Wish it was that easy. Instead, I've got to suffer through nightmares and waking up way too early in the morning. All shaken up.

Drenched in sweat, not to mention. Out of breath, and literally shaking. It's overwhelming and way too much to handle for me.

"Hey, I got you, River," her voice calms me down, not as much as her arm wrapping all around my waist does though, "It's ok. I promise."

"Fuck." I breathe out and run two hands through my hair. Then lay back, arms and legs spread out like a starfish.

Sabrina leans over me, her blue eyes looking down in my green ones. With not just love, but deep concern. "You ok?"

My lips curve into the fakest smile I've ever given. "Wonderful."

That's a little bitchy but what does she expect? Me to snap out of my fucking nightmare and be unfazed? Not gonna fucking happen.

"I think I know why you're having the nightmares-- "

Before I can hear the end of her sentence, I cut her off. "Yeah, me too. I think it might have something to do with the fact I was kidnapped and almost killed by some crazy white man."

Now that might've been a little overtop rude, but I don't care right now. I know my girl won't be mad either. Always so understanding.

"You didn't let me finish," she tucks a strand of my loose curl behind my ear then gives me a playful grin, "Can I?"

"Go ahead." I let out a deep sigh, melting at the slight touch of her soft hand gracing against my cheek.

"I think the reason your nightmares are coming back more frequently is because of the stress of Shannon and that situation."

"No," I shake my head immediately, "That's stupid."

"It's not, actually. I've been doing a lot a research on anxiety and nightmares and it says that a nightmare can be triggered by unrelated stress."

Makes sense. I mean, if my mind isn't a good place then it's a lot more likely that I'll have a nightmare.

But I'm more so focused on something I didn't know. "You actually research my anxiety and nightmares?"

Sabrina nods, leaning down and giving my nose a quick kiss for me to scrunch up my face. "Gotta know how to help my baby girl."

"Thank you for always taking care of me. Even like this." I say it and mean it.

"Always, I promise." I'm given a forehead kiss too, "Now, lemme sing to you, and relax your beautiful mind."

My mind ain't feeling so beautiful but hearing her say that, makes me (and my mind) feel a whole ton better.

•••

Obviously, there was no way I could've fallen back to sleep. Despite how tired I was and how much I wanted to.

It would've been a recipe for disaster so I guess I'm thankful I didn't. I know I would've had another nightmare. No question about it.