her girlfriend.

fifty

Didn't sleep too well last night. No nightmare or anything. It just wasn't a good night for me sleeping. Tossing and turning. All. Fucking. Night.

Better than having a nightmare, though. I'm good with that. Not sleeping beats sleeping and having a nightmare by a landslide.

The only bad part is how cranky and tired I get during the day. It obviously isn't Sabrina's favorite thing to put up with but she does.

Even at five in the morning. When she gotta get up to go to set. I can admit that I'm being a real bitch right now and she's taking it all.

You have no idea how much I appreciate her. "Come on, baby, just get up and I'll get you dressed. Come here."

"Why do I have to get dressed," I'm in just my Calvin Klein bra and a nice, little thong I got a while ago, "No."

"Because, River, you have to drive me to set," Sabrina's hand touches the skin on my back as she sits on the edge of my side of the bed.

"Mmmmmhmmmm," it's a half-groan-half-moan type thing that leaves my lips. I can't even explain. Just a moody and cranky groan.

Don't know how my girlfriend is dealing with it but she does. In a way that involves using whatever strength is in her tiny body and lifting me up.

In her arms. This barely-five-feet-tall tiny, little white girl lifted me, a almost five-foot-eight girl into her arms. How the fuck.

"Jesus, Sabrina, put me the fuck down," and she does right when I say that but she doesn't let me get back into bed.

Taking hold of my hips and bringing me into her arms. "Listen, I wanna tell you something, ok?"

My arms are placed down onto her shoulders. My tired eyes looking down into slightly less but still very tired eyes. "Mmmmm,"

"Why don't you come to set with me today? I'm only there for a few hours and I have my own trailer for you to stay in. It'll be fun."

"Fine. Only because I don't feel like socializing with your family today. N-not because I don't like them-- I do -- i-it's just that-- "

Sabrina giggles that adorable giggle that makes me feel so much better. Not enough to make me feel completely better.

It helps so much, though. Too much considering it's just a giggle. No wonder her kisses make me feel like I'm in actual heaven.

"I know, baby, I know," she leans in close, lips pressing against a spot on my collarbone area, "You have to get dressed if you're coming with me."

That's way too much work. Getting dressed. Doing my hair. Caring and taking care of myself. Too much.

Don't have the energy for that. Luckily, I got my girlfriend who's willing to help me and make me feel comfortable.

"Socks," is all I say as I cringe at the feeling of my bare feet touching the ground. It's one of the worst things to me.

"Oh, I read about why you can't stand the feeling of certain textures and things and it's part of autism. I knew it!"

"That isn't something to be happy about," is all I say, my green eyes watching as she grabs my tie-dye Huf socks and starts putting them on me.