her girlfriend.

fourty-seven

I was cool with the fact that me and current girlfriend who's gonna be my girl forever are gonna go see my ex who cheated. Key word is was.

That was me before I had a night to sleep (somewhat) on the actual thought and fact of that happening. Now, no fucking way.

Either Carter will fucking rip Sabrina to shreds and make her cry (maybe even punch, who knows?) or Sabrina will piss Carter off too much.

And you really don't want to piss that ni**a off. Oh god, I've seen it many times and what she gets like is terrifying stuff.

What I'm saying is, it's not gonna end well. I'm sure that Sabrina knows this, too, but she won't let me back out of this now.

"You literally don't understand Carter," and I'm trying to explain to her but she don't get it, "I'm serious, Brina. I don't want to do this."

Girl won't even listen to me. Just changing from the clothes she wore on set today to the clothes she's gonna wear to Carter's house.

Or wherever else we go because there's no way that she's gonna convince me that it's a good idea anymore. Not gonna happen.

I ain't gonna be falling for the puppy dog eyes, the pouty lips, the sexual shit she tries to pull on me, or anything else. Nope. No way.

Well, maybe, I would fall for a combination of all three of those things but there's no way she would possibly think to do that.

Wish that was the case. "River, stop being like this. Think about happy things like your birthday or fucking me again tonight."

"You stop being like this. I'm trying to protect you. And us. I don't want you to go near her and it'll just turn into a fight-- "

The look she gives me brings my sentence to a stop. It's that fucking powerful and makes me weak. Like she knows all about me.

Because she literally does. Sabrina knows exactly how I'm feeling right now and I can see that in her eyes. Makes me feel protected.

"We're doing this. We're gonna talk to her and it'll be fine." Sabrina tells me and I see that she's serious now. Like for real serious.

"No, she'll want to fight you. Why can't we just ignore her? I can block her number for good and Waverley's, too. Please?"

"Take a deep breath," she takes my hands in hers, "Let's take some deep breaths together, ok? Come on,"

It's easy for me to follow her breathing pattern. My eyes locked into hers as I copy her breathes.

That's when I realized I had a mini little anxiety-attack there. Not too bad. I've had much worse where it takes hours to calm me down.

Still doesn't mean I liked it. I mean, who likes fucking anxiety attacks? That's a stupid thing to say but you get the point.

"Good girl," she praises me with a smile, "Now, we're going, ok? No need to freak out like this. It'll be fine."

"I-I kinda want you two to meet," I do want that. I do. It's just that their personalities will clash a lot, I think. That scares me.

Sabrina nods her head at my words. "I know you do. So, there's no need to worry about anything, baby. Come here."

Get lots of hugs after that. It's what I needed after having the whole morning to be alone with my thoughts.