her girlfriend.

one-hundred-eight

Sometimes it feel like we wake up in some new place everyday and that feeling good most days but today I wanna be home. I miss being home.

We arrived in new york sometime last night but there is no memory of it for me. I just woke up here because I was so fucking tired last night.

Already missing not having our bed taken over by our dog but feels good at the same time. It is a lot of feelings right now. Mostly pretty good.

Only two days here then we go back home for a little while. Think we have two weeks there and then three different countries within two week.

Just thinking about that make me tired enough to want stay in this hotel bed forever but she is one busy girl today. Got a million things to do.

"Tired?" she questions but I keep my face deep in the pillow and only let out muffled groan tell her exactly how I feel, "You stay here, queen."

"No. I wanna— wanna c-come with you." it has me peeled up enough for her to actually know what it is that I be saying, "I-I— I c-can come."

"River, love, you need to rest. I already feel this turning into a depressive episode." the feelings of her hand starting to rub my back soothe me.

Sabrina knows exactly what to do and always is too good at knowing me. Everything about me and these little tendencies. I fucking need that.

Never had nobody care like her or love like her or anything like her. It feels good to finally got that which may be why I eventually agree to it.

Sleeping without her next to me to snap me out of a potential nightmare is a huge risk but one that feels needed today. "I gonna m-miss you."

Laying on my stomach and my body spread out like a starfish gives her the perfect opportunity to lay atop me, kissing my shoulders and neck.

Nothing feels better than this while you are still in that sleepy mood. Everyone deserves a love like this. I know I do for sure. I love having her.

"Just text me if you need absolutely anything to help you or anything. I will be right here." that has me blushing but she can't see it right now.

A few more kisses are pressed to wherever she can find some of my dark skin to make sure to love then I look back at her. "Love you, cariño."

Sabrina smile then she kisses my lips with love that I will be feeling until she gets back to give me even more. "I love you even more, queen."

The weight of smaller body is off me then she is slowly and quietly gone. I already halfway back to sleep by the time the door closes behind her.

•••

Sleeping sucks when you have nightmares like me but it has to happen. I never really got how important sleep really is until traveling get me.

Used to not sleep for days to avoid having one stupid nightmare and that would be okay then but not now. I need to be as awake as possible.

Traveling when you are overtired only leads to bad things. It makes me cranky which ends up in petty agreements and then depression spells.

Which means as much as sleeping is a risk and it is especially being alone like right now, I got to sleep to try to keep mine and my girls sanity.

Waking up alone is one of the worst feelings in the entire world, though. I know she only just a few blocks away but I want her to wake me up.