her girlfriend.

eighty-two

Nightmares are hell. I hate having them, even the little ones that aren't as bad as some of the really scary ones. In general, they all just suck.

It was hard enough for me to actually go through what happened to me and then on top of that, I been dealing with nightmares since it happened.

Life really ain't fair. I can't believe that it's been more than ten years since it happened and it's still impacting my daily life.

The last time I remember having a good, solid sleep was when I was like fucking eight years old. That was twelve years ago for fucks sake.

I'm doing ok, now. It's just that depression part that's getting to me. I glad the nightmares over and done with for now but it sucks.

I don't wanna have to deal with this anymore, I wanna be normal. I know that sounds like something a tumblr white kid would say but for real.

This is all a lot for me to handle, at times. It's exhausting and then when I wanna sleep, I have a nightmare and it gets worse. Fuck this.

"I got you some water," I'm always jumpy for a little while after this but I'm not because this voice always calms me down.

"I'm s-s-so, so, sick of th-th-this shit. I-I-I hate life." instead of taking the sip of water, I roll over and bury my face in the pillow.

"Baby, I know, I know," Sabrina breathes out, her hand touching the curve of my back when she sits down, "You'll be ok, I promise."

A deep sigh leaves my lips but it's muffled by the pillow. I lay there like I'm dead for a good amount of time and my girl rubs my back all through it.

It's then that I decided to take her up on that offer with the water. I know I'm just gonna get a headache if I don't so I do.

Sabrina keeps her hand on my thigh, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on my skin that sync up with my breathing. It's helping but I still feel like shit.

If only there was one thing that could just take all this away from me and give it no one else because no one deserves this. I can't take it.

"Abstract is worried about you," she whispers and I knew that already. This dog loves me so much that he knows when I'm upset.

"C-Come h-here, baby," and the second he hears my voice, he's up from where he standing by the door and on the bed, tail wagging.

I'm attacked with licks from him and obviously, Sabrina gets in on that action and helps our puppy kiss all over my face. I guess, this good help.

Eventually, I'm laying down on my back with a smile on my face. That's rare after just having a nightmare but I'm glad it's there.

My girlfriend lays next to me, still managing to kiss me wherever her lips can find on my beautiful skin while the puppy is nuzzled into my other side.

Gotta admit, that little bit helped. It really did. I know it's weird but I'm feeling a little better. It gives me hope for the rest of the day, at least.

•••

"Look at my strong, powerful woman over here," if you know my girl, you know she be hyping up every little thing I do, "Getting dressed and shit."

"G-Hetting d-dressed don't make m-me, me a p-p-powerful woman," I laugh it off but we both know that her hype me up like this helps so much.