her girlfriend.

sixty-one

Couldn't sleep last night. Most likely because of how anxious going to a whole other country again was making me.

Good thing we can hopefully sleep on the plane because Sabrina was up all night with me, as well. Wouldn't sleep until I did and I didn't.

I don't know how she's got all this energy and isn't even that cranky when our alarm goes off at five in the morning.

We just fell asleep for the first time the whole night fifteen minutes ago, not even joking but I wish I was. I ain't feeling to well.

My girlfriend, who's probably equally as shitty as I am, still takes care of me and I feel a little bad about being so needy but I can't help it.

"And then we'll get to the hotel and have a nice shower," she says her in soft voice she uses when I'm not feeling good, "Yeah?"

I can only groan. That's the only sound that I think I'm capable of making for real right now and Sabrina giggles at it.

A kiss is given to my head but then my body is pulled into her loving arms as she lays on her side of the bed. I need this.

Just a moment for me to cuddle with her is so needed. We were cuddling the entire night but I need it more than ever now.

With all these bad thoughts about the whole process of getting there, I need as much love as I can get. Which is, thankfully, a whole lot.

Sabrina gives me so much love, but I know today, we actually gotta get up and leave the house which sucks. "Alright, baby,"

"Can y-you get me dressed?" I ask and I barely have the energy to say that but somehow have the energy to be so fucking anxious.

"Anything you want," Sabrina yawns out with another kiss to my cheek while she makes her way over to the closet.

I watch with my tired green eyes as she picks out my clothes. Just one of my many baggy, comfortable hoodies and leggings. Oh, and Huf socks.

Then, she puts it all on me, giving kisses to every place on bare skin she can find on my body. Ending up atop me when I'm all dressed.

"Today will be ok, love. Don't worry." I hope she's right.

•••

It's hell. The airport is actual hell. It's so busy for whatever reason and the paparazzi are here. Literally following us.

I'd rather be followed by anything than them. Almost anything.

They're so annoying, yelling questions with their big ass cameras. Like get a real fucking job instead of harassing people.

Sabrina's holding me so close, though. That's making me feel a little better but I still am kinda wanting to cry right now.

I'm glad I got my hood up and feel all comfy. Well, not comfy. I just-- I feel a little more protected, I guess. The way she's holding me.

"Sabrina," they're all screaming her name, not really screaming but to me it seems like they're screaming, "Look over here,"

Instead of looking at one of the many cameras, she looks up at me and I can somehow hear her whisper, "You're really tense."

Yeah, no shit. I'm not used to having strangers follow me and yelling questions and shit, and all the fans coming up to Sabrina, too.