BUKU MAKNYAH

WHAT I WISH TO TELL YOUNG TRANS?

After writing 3 books (one semi academic and 2 fictions) on Transgender M to F, i sincerely found that we are still in a terrible confusion box. Nothing new, even in America confusion still lingers when it comes to transwoman issues, opinion varies even among this small community while society at large are still in a daze, trying to understand. 

No choice, Transwomen have to be braver. Swimming in that so called sexuality pool is not an easy business especially if you are in Asia.

There will be time when a Transwoman will have to stand alone facing her world.

1. Please be sure of yourself. Get educated on any human segments. We are talking about being academically educated, street wise and reasonable spaces to any arising matters. Able to settle confusing problems, physically and emotionally.

2. Invest time to fully understand what is SOGIE (sexual orientation Gender Identity and Expression). it will be useful in order to respect and be respected. We tend to get shocked easily when bombarded with different kind of behaviors of LGBT. SOGIE is to avoid ourselves from becoming judgmental and more relaxed.

3. Work hard on becoming independent emotionally and financially. Life will be easier. Parents, employers and society, can be demanding (some will even ask you to revert to becoming what you are not supposed to be). Be an asset if you are serving any organization. 

4. Get out of a certain SOCIAL CONSTRUCTS molded by cisgenders regarding moral, actions, behavior, dress code which is not applicable to you as a transwoman. Cisgender will go extra length even using RELIGION to ensure that feel guilty. You can only give in so much, there rest will be on how you deal with them. Compromising has to be two ways. 

5. HRT - Hormon Replacement Theraphy : This is a weird segment that required your full attention. Get out of wrong concept of HRT which is solely and originally meant for WELL BEING. Do not be hard on yourself. Remember luck, genetic and reality. (unless you willingly and capable of any minor or major operation procedures). You can never be a cis woman. Take note. This is reality. 

6. Avoid as much as possible SEX WORK. Not being judgmental here. We talked about it so many times on this matters.  Sex work is not to be glamoured. No argument here please, you knew the answer very well. We discussed about it before... where it came, leading to where and what are the sequences.

7. Generate some personal strength from time to time. There is nothing for you to rush. How will you answer questions on gender? You relation with god and religion? People putting you straight to hell? or are these people just want to make fun of you feeling guilty? Think and be wise.

8. find a contributing/positive/right support system the best possible. Online support is available too. Right from small matters to personal issues, it can be solved. Gaining opinions, answers and solutions is possible. Being open and able to filter it wisely is an advantage.

9. Get as much information as possible regarding health care, jurisdiction and human rights. As a transwoman you deserves all kinds of protection. You are entitled. What do you do? Ask and find out where, when, why and how?

10. Get out from WRONG CONCEPT of becoming (living up life as...) a Transwoman as much as possible. (we discussed so much about it previously). You are just a human not an artist or a beauty queen  or mandatory to be gorgeous by anyone standard. struggling hard and feeling inadequate and low due to physical attributes will lead you to no where. If it is just for fun, fahsion, glamor dan easy access of sex.... GET OUT FAST!

Upon listing 10 of the above, i have a strong notion that you will be better, calmer and productive human. Detect everything fast.  Remember some are just associating with trans movement for the sake of fun and huhahuha kind of living. Find out whether you are a Shemale, Effeminate gay or just a Cross-dresser (these three will generate problem of living concept if you are surrounded by Transwoman). Lumping all together will always be a problem.

There is no specific guidelines on how to lead life as a Transwoman while some rules of living is still the same like any other cisgenders. Talking about 101 terms and conditions is not the key here. You as a Mak Nyah has to slowly embrace it personally and be kind to yourself in and out. We have talked so much on validation, acceptance and well being. 

Bear in mind, to many, LGBT is still a taboo, some may go extra miles to criticize your choice of living. Are you prepared? What is your answer? Are you able to work along side them? Are you okay with what you are facing right now? How far are you tolerating holistic phenomenon regarding transwoman?

Most of all are you a HAPPY HUMAN?