criminal

824 13 0

by hoodstylqs

by hoodstylqs

I woke up to a soaked pillow and sore eyes. Glancing down, I noticed I was dressed in the clothes from the night before and hadn't even bothered to pull my duvet over me. I was just sprawled out on top of it.

All the memories of the previous night suddenly crashed over me. Tears once again filled my eyes and I buried my head back into my pillow.

"Please tell me your brother was joking." I said, my voice slightly shaky.

Shawn remained silent, his eyes begging me to be quiet. To leave this conversation alone. But how could I?

"Please tell me this was all some sick joke to try and get a rise out of me." I muttered. "Please tell me he's delusional and has no idea what he's talking about. Please tell me none of this is true."

Shawn couldn't even look me in the eyes. This somehow hurt more than him seeing my beyond broken expression. Because he just wordlessly confirmed to me that his brother was telling the truth.

And I wasn't sure how to handle that.

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't bring myself to look at him anymore. I knew that if I did, it would just hurt even more. That or I'd simply forgive him and fall for him all over again. I couldn't let that happen.

This was really over. There was no going back from here.

"y/n, it was in the past." Shawn said, his voice painfully quiet. "I'm not like that anymore. I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that. When have I ever been anything but good to you?"

"That doesn't change the fact it happened!" I yelled. "I can't ignore the fact that you went to prison for assisted murder! You're a criminal, Shawn! You helped cover up your girlfriend's murder! How the fuck am I ever going to forgive you for that? How are we supposed to move past that? Exactly. We can't."

Shawn remained silent; secretly kneeling I was right. But he'd never admit that.

"I think you should just leave." I whispered, my voice cracking.

"y/n, please-"

"Just go."

"y/n-"

"Go, Shawn!"

Without another word, he left. My front door slammed shut and he was gone.

Suddenly, I felt my whole world collapse. I knew nothing would be the same again.

Even if I loved Shawn more than anything, I couldn't ignore what he'd done. I couldn't be around him knowing that he helped bury and hide his own girlfriend's body.

I shouldn't be crying over him. But I can't help it. He was my everything and that's not instantly going to change. He will forever be a huge part of my life.

I just can't believe I dated a criminal and didn't even know it.

felt weird describing shawn as a flat out murderer and also realised that he would get life for murder so i just said assisted. i still feel weird saying he did that but whatever who cares.