shawn mendes imagines [ COMPLETED ]

happy without me

i wish i didn't need you as much as i do.

i'd never thought about shawn as anything other than a friend, so his words took me by surprise. i never realised he even felt some type of way towards me. to me, he was just shawn mendes: my best friend. he was someone i could tell anything. someone i trusted with my life. he was always the one i would go to if i just wanted to let loose and have fun.

but now that's all changed.

i don't know if i love him in the way he wants me to. fuck, i don't even know if i'm capable of loving anyone in that way. i've never been in a serious relationship. all it's ever been for me is meaningless one night stands or failed first dates.

i don't know what love is. so how would i know if i loved shawn?

all i knew was that i couldn't tell him how i really felt. it would ruin our friendship. but i also couldn't fake my feelings for him. so, what did i do?

i ran away. i ran away from my problems. back then, it felt like the only possible solution. that way, i wouldn't have to see the hurt i caused shawn. i wouldn't have to even see him again. he could just be a distant memory.

it's been a year now since i ran away. i hadn't thought of shawn for so long, until today when i saw him on tv.

shawn and i always talked about his dreams of becoming a singer. he used to post covers on youtube, just waiting for someone to spot him and hopefully sign him to a label. i guess that finally happened after i left.

he was being interviewed about his debut album. apparently he'd released a couple of singles that had blown up. i'm surprised i missed them.

on this show, he announced a tour. it only consisted of small venues, but at least it was a tour. he'd always dreamed of playing sold out stadiums, and maybe he'd get there one day. but for now, i could tell this was enough. he would love every second of this tour. his dreams were coming true.

throughout the interview, shawn couldn't wipe a beaming smile from his lips. the mere sight brought a smile to my own face. he was finally living his dreams and he was truly and utterly happy. everything he ever wanted was starting to fall into his hands. he was finally getting the recognition he deserved.

seeing him again lifted a weight from my shoulders. knowing that he was okay made me feel less guilty for leaving him. and maybe it worked out for the best?

i'm happy and so is he.

everything is alright.

~~

my music taste has evolved so much since 2018 n i'm all too proud of myself