shawn mendes imagines [ COMPLETED ]

what a feeling

"i can't believe we wasted so much time." shawn said, gazing down at me.

i sighed, offering him a small smile. i had been saying the same thing to myself ever since we first kissed the other night.

all these months gone to waste, and for what? we were both too stubborn to admit that we had any sort of feelings for one another, even though those feelings were so irritatingly obvious. why did we feel the need to wait so long to do anything about them?

i spent so long being way less happy than i could've been.

i tilted my head so that i was looking into shawn's eyes. i swear, i could stare into them for hours and just get lost in them.

a smile grew on his lips. my cheeks flushed a light shade of red as i quickly turned my attention to the floor. the sound of a small chuckle escaping his lips brought a smile to my face.

"don't be embarrassed." he said, softly. "it's cute when you stare."

"i think you might be the first person to ever say that." i giggled.

i leant down and pressed a gentle kiss on my lips. his arms snaked around my waist and he pulled me closer to him.

i felt so safe in his arms. so at home. whenever i was with him, i knew i was where i belonged. being with him gave me that kind of feeling you never wanted to go away.

"i wish it could be like this all the time." i whispered.

shawn stayed silent for a moment, taking a sharp breath.

"i wish it could too." he replied, quietly.

the sound of a door shutting caused the two of us to jump apart. i leaned against the railings, distancing myself from shawn. my head turned in the direction of the sound, and my eyes immediately landed on isla, my manager. she glanced between the two of us, before shaking her head.

"you two need to be more careful." she said. "the paparazzi are everywhere, and you're not that many floors up. now, come back inside. everyone's waiting for you."

shawn and i shared a look of disappointment before following isla back into the hotel room. all our friends were gathered inside, drinks in hand. shawn and i both grabbed a drink of our own, and sat down with them.

i glanced over at shawn, who had already necked his entire drink. sighing, i stared down at the glass in my hand, thinking to our moment outside.

what a feeling to just be in his arms, knowing that i am his. even if the whole world can't know that, at least we do. and i guess that's all that should matter. but somehow it still feels like i'm missing something. i just want to be able to tell the world that i am in love with shawn mendes, and he is in love with me. why can't it be like that?

"hey, y/n." shawn said, snapping me out my thoughts. "are you okay?"

i glanced up at him, plastered a fake smile on my face, and nodded.

"i'm fine."

his expression screamed uncertainty, but he chose to just let me be. i sighed, downing the remaining alcohol in my glass.

"here's to y/n and her number one album!" noah yelled.

everyone cheered, raising their glasses. shawn wrapped his arm around me for a quick side hug. he pulled away almost immediately, shaking the smile from my face.

i snatched a bottle of vodka from one of my friends' hands. i brought it to my lips and began to drink it quickly. i scrunched my nose as the burning sensation in my throat. however, i quickly brushed it off, downing more of the liquid.

right now, i didn't care how i looked to everyone else. i didn't care about the consequences my actions that lie ahead could have. right now, all i wanted to do was forget. i just wanted to feel free for one night.

is that too much to ask?

~~

wow it's been a minute. really just kinda forgot about wattpad but i guess now that we're all in quarantine i might upload more maybe because i have nothing to do. can't promise anything but we'll see!