shawn mendes imagines [ COMPLETED ]

denial

I watched as Shawn intertwined his fingers with Freya's. She kissed him softly on the lips. My eyes watered slightly but I quickly blinked back the tears. Before either of them had the chance to notice me, I turned on my heel and speed walked away from them.

Tears began to fall down my cheeks. I turned a corner and fell back against a wall. I slowly slid down it until I was sat against it.

This can't be happening. Shawn can't be cheating on me. Especially not with Freya. This must be a dream. It has to be a dream.

More of a nightmare than a dream, actually.

My mind kept flashing back to images of the two kissing. It made me feel physically sick.

But, somehow, some part of me still believes this isn't real. A part of me believes that he didn't just kiss her. That I didn't just see them holding hands.

In fact, part of me believes that everything is okay. I will see him tomorrow and still feel all the same feelings I have towards him. Part of me truly believes that I will forget this tomorrow. That this will all just be a distant memory. If that.

But maybe I'm just in denial. Maybe I just don't want this to be true because I am so hopelessly in love with him that it hurts.

Either way, I know it's not good for me. And I know it's going to result in me getting hurt all over again.

~~

i've had 3 mental breakdowns today. i think it's safe to say i'm not doing good.