shawn mendes imagines [ COMPLETED ]

ours

the photos that sat in frames upon the fireplace felt as if they were mocking me. the smiles on their faces were brighter than ours ever were. i wanted nothing more than to grab that photo frame, throw it against the wall and watch it smash into pieces. but i didn't. instead, i plastered on my all too familiar fake smile and turned to face him.

"cute photo of you two." i said, watching him walk into the room.

he smiled weakly at me before placing the cup of coffee he had in his hand on the table. he signalled for me to take a seat on the sofa. taking a deep breath, i sat down beside him.

an awkward tension hung thick in the air. neither of us knew what to do or say. so we just sat there in silence for about 5 minutes. every so often one of us would take a sip of our drinks and open our mouth to speak, yet no words would come out.

after a while, i finally decided i was done avoiding the conversation, and began to speak.

"i just want to say i'm sorry first." i said.

"why?" he questioned.

i took a deep breath.

"because there's something i've been keeping from you." i said. "something big. something i should've told you before we broke up."

"y/n, you're scaring me, what is it?"

i pulled my phone from my pocket and pulled up a photo. i hesitated before turning the screen so that he could see what was on it.

he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"who is that?" he asked.

"that's charlie." i said. "he's our son."

shawn's entire body froze. he didn't say a word, but just stared at the photo on my phone.

i can't even begin to imagine how hard this must be for him. i hid the fact he had a son from him for a year. the guilt i carried everytime i looked at charlie killed me. knowing that charlie had a father who didn't even know he existed killed me. it finally became too much and i decided i had to tell him.

shawn deserved to know.

"i became pregnant with him two weeks before we broke up." i said. "i was planning how i was going to tell you as i wanted it to be special. because, you know, i was more than excited to be carrying your child. i mean, why wouldn't i be? you're shawn mendes: the love of my life."

shawn remained silent, still trying to process all this information.

"but then i found out you cheated on me with isla and you suddenly weren't so special to me anymore." i said. "all the love i felt for you turned into hatred. i wanted to punish you for what you did to me, and what better way than to keep the fact you have a child a secret from you?"

"so you didn't tell me because you were angry at me." he said, quietly.

my head dropped and i nodded slowly.

"but as soon as charlie arrived, the guilt finally settled in. he was just so perfect and i saw so much of you in him. how could i stop you from ever seeing him? and 4 months later, here i am, telling you that you have a son."

"i don't even know how to react to this." he said.

"do you want to meet our son?"

shawn's head snapped up in my direction. his eyes were glossy as if he was about to burst into tears. he nodded his head slowly, a small smile forming on his lips.

"he's at my house with my friend, we can go there now if you want."

"i'd love that."

~~

so i'm back after nearly 2 months. i doubt i'll be regularly updating but enjoy this for now.

also i'm going to so many concerts next year and i actually can't wait so i just really wanted to mention that.

sorry i'll go now :)