Hobbit and Lord of the Rings oneshots, Book 1

BEAR!! (Bilbo x Hobbit!Reader)

Bilbo sighed, hiding behind a column away from his front door. The Sackville-Bagginses had decided to pester him once again, demanding he share his chests of gold. They had been on his case ever since he returned from his adventure to assist the dwarves in reclaiming Erebor. Apparently they hadn't been listening when he told them the last three thousand times that he DID NOT have chests of gold. 

He only had one.

And he wasn't sharing.

Guess I'll just have to wait them out, he thought to himself.

(Y/n) was walking through Bag End, out after a visit to the Tooks, her best friends, she came skipping down along the path that led through the Baggins property. As she walked, she spotted several Sackville-Bagginses crowded around Mister Bilbo's round green door, Lobelia being among them. 

This infuriated you. You were just a young Proudfoot, but you'd been ridiculed and pestered by Lobelia Sackville-Baggins for as long as you remembered. No one deserved to be tortured by her or any of her relatives.

Crouching into the underbrush near Bilbo's grand hobbit hole, she waited one last moment before bursting noisily through the bushes, screaming in horror. "BEAR!!! BEAR!!! RUN!!!"

The greedy relatives of Mister Baggins then scurried off in a panicked frenzy, screaming about 'nasty creatures' and 'never wanting to live so close to such beasts.'

(Y/n) giggled as the Sackville-Bagginses ran off, and she trotted up to the green door, knocking on it a few times, careful not to muss the paint. "Hello in there?" she called, peering through the little window.

Suddenly Mister Bilbo appeared, and walked slowly to the door, opening it even slower. "Yes?" he asked timidly, and (Y/n) supposed he was still wary of the 'bear' that was lurking about. "How may I be of service?"

"Oh, I just wanted to let you know that the bear attacking me was a distraction. You know, to get those nasty Sackville-Bagginses away from your house." You smiled and blushed a bit nervously. "No one as nice and respectable as yourself deserves to be pestered by hobbits like them."

Bilbo grinned and opened the door much wider, letting more sunlight into the room and giving you a full view of his foyer. "Well then thank you very much, Miss..uh.."

"(Y/n) Proudfoot," you supplied, and offered a small curtsey.

"Miss (Y/n) Proudfoot," he declared, bowing over-dramatically, causing you to erupt in giggles, "I am ever indebted to your service! May I invite you inside my humble abode? It is nearly tea-time!"

You laughed and stepped inside his grand hobbit hole, "I would love to, thank you Mister Baggins!"

"Please," he said, smiling but his voice carrying a tone of seriousness, "call me Bilbo."

Well, a few months passed, and the two of you had grown quite fond of each other. You loved to hear Bilbo's tales of adventure, fighting dragons, goblins, and orcs, his battle of wits with Gollum and the trolls, and how he saved the line of Durin. He also loved listening to you tell him your love of books, maps, and gardening. 

Turned out the two of you had so much in common (including your love for each other) that you decided to begin courtship.

Three months later, the two of you were married, and well on your way to living the perfect 'happy ever after.'

Until Bilbo discovered that he must take in his little second cousin, Frodo Baggins, that is.

Then it became even better than you could have ever imagined.

And just when you thought Fate might be dealing out your hand just a little too well, the Company of Thorin Oakenshield traveled all the way from Erebor to see their friend and his wife (Bilbo had left out the fact that the both of you had adopted Frodo).

They were all pleased indeed.

JUST PRETEND THORIN AND FILI AND KILI ARE THERE URGH

This was for my internet bestie, EleanorLearn, I hope you liked it, MON AMI!!!