Michael Clifford Imagines

I don't want you to fade away

i don't want you to fade away-Michael clifford

By: mikey-is-a-god

It hadn't been that long since Michael and I met, but I didn't care the slightest about it. Something between the two of us clicked right away and we started dating as soon as he lost his shyness. I was the most happy person on earth, Michael was the perfect boyfriend for me and he was always so caring and sweet. We could spend hours together, doing literally nothing and to be honest I didn't even care.

But something was not going so right lately, I hung out with my friends just as I did before meeting Michael, I was as touchy as I had (almost) always been. Always up for a cuddle, hugs or hair playing, but something had changed in Mikey about that and I didn't know what it was. He never had a problem with it, he knew you liked to be always touching or hugging or grabbing hands with someone, I didn't even care who it was. They were all my friends and I would never do as more as friends with things with them, but Michael was jealous about it and he decided to tell me not in the best way possible.

I was in the bathroom wrapping a towel around my cleavage as I exited the shower when Michael walked in. It wasn't a big deal, he had seen you naked before and it wasn't the first time you showered in his house either. But he was clearly concerned about something.

"Mikey" I said using his affectionate nickname, "what happens? You have been acting all weird lately" I approached the sink cabinet and sat there looking at him with my feet up in the air.

"Y/N, you would never do anything with another guy right?" he asked after being silent for two solid minutes. I knew he was a little bit jealous, but from that to actually think I would cheat on him there was a massive step, so that question really shocked me making my heart race in disbelief.

"Why do you even ask that? Of course I wouldn't do anything with another guy" my voice was way to harsh, but when I realized it had already slipped from your mouth.

"It's just that I see you really close to other guys and you are always touching someone or playing with their hands or hair and I want to be the only one who you do that to" he started saying, "I love you and I trust you, but I don't trust the others around you and when I see them being too close to you I don't know what to do. It's almost like I am not there for you, you act like cuddling others and play with their hands means nothing and I don't know what to do about it" after his words tears started forming in my eyes, not daring to look at him because I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to keep them inside. During his speech he was looking at the floor as well, and when he looked up at me he saw the hurt in my eyes. He got up, saying nothing, approaching me to hold me in a tight hug. That hug was when the tears started running down my face, I couldn't believe what he was saying and I didn't want to believe it. I had never been the pretty girl in school, boys never saw me as more than one of them, I had always been one of the guys... But a long time ago I decided to stop that, get some confidence on myself and start to believe that I was pretty and I could do what the other girls did, so I started to be more touchy and "girlie" and eventually I felt better about my whole self, that thing I started years ago it's what makes me be me and I didn't want to give that up.

"Michael, I feel like I can't be myself if I can't do that any more. I'll try for you, but I know that eventually things will change in me, I know that I will fade away and my personality won't be ever the same as it is now" my voice cracked multiple times as I said this, it hurt a lot to say it, but I would do whatever it was in my hands to be with him. Even if I didn't want to give myself up I would have done it for him.

"Babe, no... I don't you to stop being you, I don't want you to fade away. The way you are and the smile you always have on your face it's what made me like you so much. I wouldn't want you to not be yourself. Please I am really sorry, I know I am stupid for thinking that you would do something with another guy. God I am so fucking stupid. I don't want you to feel sad, and now I made you sad and I made you cry and I hate me for that" he said holding my cheeks on his hands, "Please look at me baby, I want to see your eyes, I want to see that glow that made me fall in love with you. I want to know that you are still here with me. I don't want you to fade away from me or leave. Just thinking about it makes me mad, and knowing that it would be my fault make me want to throw myself off of a bridge" but I didn't dare to look at him, tears were rushing down my face. I hated crying, it had been really long since the last time I cried and I hated every single stage of it. I couldn't talk, I couldn't look at him, I couldn't do anything but cry and I hated that feeling where you just feel numb and nothing seems to take you back to reality.

"Babe please, talk to me" I could hear the crack in his voice, and I felt the tears falling from his face to the top of my head. All I could do was hug him tightly to let him know I was there and that I'd never leave. I buried my face on his chest, sniffing his scent, not wanting to forget the way he smells, and wanting to remember every single happy moment by his side.

"I don't want to look at you crying, I don't want to see you cry Michael. I really don't want to see it, I hate crying and I hate see people cry and be sad, and I know it's my fault now that you are crying and I really am sorry for this" I finally said, not looking at him, just holding him tight in my arms. We probably stayed ten minutes not saying anything, trying to calm ourselves by the touch of the other.

When I dared to look up at him he was already looking at me, as our eyes met I could feel that wave of warmness I felt the first time I held his stare. I felt like home, he was comforting me, he didn't need to say anything to make me feel better, to make me feel safe. He kissed my forehead, he knew that saying something would make me cry again and he didn't want to see me cry never again. But he knew what to do, I still couldn't move or do anything so he picked me up and put me on the bed. He took care of me and dressed me with one of his hoodies and sweatpants, he helped me get into bed and tucked me in. He then came to my side and asked:

"Can I cuddle with you?" in a soft whisper, almost silent. A little nod was enough for him to crawl next to me and hug me tight as he thought I could leave him during the night. "I love you" was all I heard before falling deeply asleep.

**

Plz keep commenting! I love reading the comments :)