The Beats Of My Heart | Meri Dil Ki Dhadkan

82

With the company now larger and having expanded, things were now much more hectic. The media had its attention on us, several magazines coming in to interview Arnav. He had even been asked to be on the cover of one of the magazines, and I had made him say yes even though he wasn't into it. The shoot was done here at the office and everyone was all over him. I stuck to the side, letting everyone deal with him, and Arnav deal with him in return. But when I slowly started moving to the corner of everything, I had no idea.

With more work, came more responsibilities, which meant more work for Arnav and less time spent with me. He would go away now and then to attend conferences and business meetings, which meant even less time with him. It's not that he didn't ask me to go with him, he always did – but I just didn't feel right about leaving everything behind every week, if not every other week. Arnav had definitely grown more popular and I was proud of him. He earned more respect as he deserved but....

I missed him. The frequent trips and meetings were starting to get to me. Whenever I would look up from my room to his and would see his empty chair, my heart would ache. It sometimes reminded me of my thoughts before we were even together, and how he wouldn't come to work. Back then, I could only wonder and huffed in annoyance. Now, all I wanted was to see his face and see him give me my smile.

To ease the loneliness, I would try to keep myself occupied. I would dance or spend time with either the family, Payal, or Viren. Lately it felt like the only people I could talk to were Payal and Viren, but even then, sometimes I would hold back from telling Payal. After all, we were family now, and I didn't want to risk her telling Dai or Di something. Telling Viren things were a little more refreshing, given that he could give an outside point of view, though he didn't always understand.

A few months passed by and this had become the norm. And along with that, Arnav had become harsher at work. It's not like I didn't know the CEO side of him – I knew very well how his head could rage at times. But now it was worse than before, and the employees feared him even more. I even found myself wondering if I even knew who was anymore.

I'm overthinking it, aren't I? I mean... this is just him at work. At home... well, he has been so preoccupied with work, always on that damn laptop of his, I didn't think it could get worse! ...I could try talking to him... yeah, I'll talk to him tonight.

And so, I waited. He had been invited by a fellow businessman to an event, to which once again I had rejected to go to. It was getting pretty late, the family already almost done with dinner when he came in.

"Chote-"

"Dai, I already ate, I'm just going to head upstairs," and he left.

Dai was a little stunned, but she tried to play it off. But I had seen it, and I knew everyone else had as well. It wouldn't have exactly been the first time Arnav had done that.

When dinner was complete and all was done, I headed upstairs. I found Arnav in the same spot I always found him – on the lounger and on his laptop. He hadn't even changed, and it had been at least 20 minutes since he had come home. He was focused on his laptop – so focused, that he didn't even acknowledge me coming into the room. Before, he used to do that, always passing me a glance. Nowadays, he was just too focused on work.

With a gulp, I made my way over to him. "Arnav?"

"Yeah," he said, still too busy on his laptop.

"Can I ask you something?"

He didn't reply and was glued into his laptop.

"Arnav?"

No response.

"Arnav!"

"What?!"

I practically flinched back, staring at him wide eyed as he towered over me.

"What do you want," he continued. "I have work to do, okay? I can't keep having side conversations?"

Side conversations? What the hell is he talking about, I was trying to ask him one damn question! And he just exploded on me for that? Is he fucking kidding me?!

"What are you talking about," I exclaimed. "You barely have time for anything, forget side conversations, let alone me!"

"Look Khushi, I don't want to start anything, so you know what, I'm going back to my work," he said and turned away, but I grabbed his arm and turned him back around.

He is not getting away from this so easily, he just raised his voice at me for nothing!

"You already did start by yelling at me for no reason! All I wanted was to ask you something and-"

"I don't have time! I have work to do!"

"That's all you ever do!"

I turned away and held my forehead, frustration starting to get the best of me.

"You know what," I said. "Forget it."

I just don't have it in me right now, maybe later once he's calmed down.

I was about to walk away when Arnav pulled me back around and gripped my wrist tightly.

"No Khushi, you started it so now you can't just turn away."

"I started it? Seriously? You know what, I have nothing to say to you."

I tried to free myself, but his grip tightened, somewhat hurting me.

"I don't think so, you can't just walk away from me like that."

And that set me off.

"Oh yeah? Why not? Because now you're some big hotshot CEO with a shitload of money and now all of a sudden everyone wants you that you don't have some damn time for your family nor for your fucking wife because all you care about now is your huge ass company?! I don't think so!!!"

"What-!"

"Just let me go Arnav, you clearly could give a less damn, just go back to your fucking laptop!"

I released myself and went to bed, feeling my anger bubble within me. I'm sure even he realized how angry and hurt I was, given all the cussing that came out of my mouth.

Arnav sat back down and tried to continue to work, but then he got up and went out to the poolside. Suddenly a loud noise of something breaking echoed, and I practically jumped. My grip on the duvet tightened as I heard Arnav groan loudly.

I turned away, my grip tightening as tears came to my eyes. I couldn't believe this was Arnav. This wasn't the man that I loved. He's not like how he used to be. What happened to the kind man that I loved? The one who opened up to me? The one who made time for me? Loved me?

I felt a pang in my chest. It felt like as if a hole had been created and my heart was huddled up inside it. I leaned up on my arm to see what Arnav was doing, only to see him knock something over when he turned around and got even more pissed, pulling on his hair as he groaned.

I laid back down and shut my eyes, a tear going down my cheek. I hardly recognized this man.