The Beats Of My Heart | Meri Dil Ki Dhadkan

95

"What do you mean you didn't see her go out," I heard Arnav roar when I entered the house.

Hari Prakash stood still, looking down at the floor.

"Chote, will you please calm down," Nani said. She's a grown woman, not a child that she'd be lost outside on her own."

Oh boy.

I walked in and everyone turned to me. Arnav stared at me and I took out my headphone buds out of my ear.

"Where were you," Arnav asked, as he walked toward me.

"I went out."

"Why?"

"For a run," I frowned.

I'm sure my sweaty condition and my attire alone spoke on its own, and honestly that run had left me more refreshed than I had felt these past few months. I don't know why, but as I ran around the park and lost myself to my music, I felt a lot of my tension dissolve. I wasn't trying to run away from my problems, but run through them. And as I ran to the studio and spent some time there, I felt more at ease. I hadn't danced today, but just reflected, sitting down on the middle of the floor and looking around.

So much of my life had changed. From the day I first met Arnav, up until now, I was no longer the same person. There had been many challenges along the way, but I had fought along, I didn't let anything tear me down. And by remembering all those times, I encouraged myself to move on from this. Yes, I had lost my child, but I tried to see it as my child was too good for the world, so the mighty above kept my child to be with the angels. The thought gave me a sense of peace I hadn't felt in a while, and I finally felt comfort.

I could finally move on.

"Well why didn't you call," Arnav asked, snapping me away from my thoughts.

"Oh... um, I forgot my phone," I said sheepishly.

"Seriously?"

I nodded.

"Then what's that," he asked, pointing at my headphones and then at my pocket.

I took my old iPod out and he scowled, shaking his head with frustration.

Well geez, sorry, I didn't mean to leave my phone. I just ended up forgetting it; besides it's dead.

Nani and everyone else came over and I felt awkward because I wasn't dressed properly.

"Where were you betiyan," Nani asked.

"I wasn't feeling so great, Nani, and I couldn't sleep. So, I thought I'd take a run, but I didn't realize I took up so much time...."

"It's okay betiyan, go on upstairs and wash up."

"Yes Nani," I nodded, and I made my way upstairs to my room.

Stepping in, the feeling I had within me last night, was gone. The void within me had filled. Faith was back and I believed that someday in the future, I would get the chance to fill my womb again and see it all through with a beautiful baby boy with chocolate brown eyes and ruffled brown hair in my arms.

With a sigh, I grabbed some fresh clothes and headed to the shower, singing away as the water poured on me – I just felt so good. Not long later, I came out and found Arnav in the room, and I continued to hum along while I ran my towel through my hair. Just as I put it down, Arnav took hold of my arm and turned me to him. He looked absolutely confused, and I couldn't blame him. It was as if I had flipped a switch, going from mopey to happy just like that.

Wanting to distract him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. "You're looking very handsome this morning."

And he really was in his navy suit and white shirt, the top few buttons undone. It had been a while since I had given my husband any attention to his looks, and boy have I been missing something. He looked absolutely delectable, and I could see the small smattering of his chest hair peek through. It reminded me of our conversation on the night of our anniversary and it made me smile. Confusion filled his face once more, and unable to help myself, I placed a kiss on his exposed flesh.