Trapped by Desire (vkook) (mpreg)

t w e n t y - e i g h t

Jeongguk sighs as he tries to find the right words to start this conversation. It was one he never expected to be having with Taehyung. Especially when he thought that part of his life was behind him and he had no reason to bring it up again.

He felt like a completely different person compared to the guy he was three years ago. Three years ago when he was barely getting through school and completely lost mentally. Since then he's put himself through rehab, graduated with honors, and moved as far away from his dad as possible for the time being.

He was in a different place three years ago and he didn't want to revisit the past ever again. Not when he was doing so well. He hadn't even thought about using in months. Not since he's met Taehyung.

    "We don't have to do this right now, Gguk. I understand if you need more time before we talk." Taehyung says disrupting Jeongguk's thoughts from where he sat across from him in the living room. "We can do this another time."

"No, we can't actually," Jeongguk says turning forward in his seat so that he didn't have to face Taehyung while he told him about that part of himself he wishes he could forget. "It'll just make things worse if I wait."

Taehyung nods before falling silent. Looking away as he waited for Jeongguk to continue. Not pressing him to speak until he was ready.

"I know you probably think I'm overreacting. And even if you don't, I am." Jeongguk starts, his hard eyes focused on something far ahead of him as he reluctantly began explaining himself. "Because this stupid accusation hurt me more than I should have let it. But there's a reason for that."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Taehyung says shaking his head.

"I know." Jeongguk sighs closing his eyes as he tried to gather his thoughts. "It just sucks because I don't want to tell you this. I don't know how you're going to react but I have to."

"You can tell me anything, Jeongguk~"

"You always say that, Taehyung. It doesn't make it any easier." Jeongguk says looking at his hands. His frustration with himself coming across as anger. "There's no easy way to even say this. You'll freak out either way."

"I won't. I'm just here to listen right now." Taehyung promises. "I'm not going to say anything. I'll keep my thoughts to myself until you want to hear them."

Jeongguk nods opening his eyes with a heavy sigh. "...I was an addict. Three years ago."

Taehyung nods with a plain expression. Not letting his expression display what he was thinking at all.

"I rather you say something right now," Jeongguk says looking at him when he doesn't. "Silently judging is worse than you judging me out loudly."

"I'm not judging you," Taehyung says with an odd tone. "I'm just listening. I'm letting you explain before I form an opinion."

Jeongguk inhales tensely, the anxiety in his chest making it hard to catch his breath. "I was addicted to...amphetamines and benzodiazepines. I started using in high school and I used for...I don't know, three or four years, I guess. But I decided to turn my life around three years ago and I went to rehab. And I've been clean since then."

Taehyung nods as if Jeongguk is going to continue but the ravenette wants his response first.

"You have to say something, Taehyung." He says fidgeting nervously. "I can't handle the silence."

"I don't know what to say." Taehyung shrugs looking off with a sigh. "I'm just trying to wrap my mind around this."

"I've been clean for three years. I haven't even thought about using since I met you~"