Trapped by Desire (vkook) (mpreg)

o n e - h u n d r e d - t w o

"I promise I didn't roofie you."

Jeongguk doesn't respond to the bartender, he keeps his eyes focused on his drink as a million things rushed through his head.

"I can get you something different." The bartender says when he doesn't respond.

"How much?" Jeongguk asks instead of acknowledging him, pulling his wallet out.

"Don't worry about it." The man smiles as he takes the glass from the bar.

Jeongguk sighs as he stands, walking out of the bar before aimlessly wondering around the streets of the city. He pulls his phone out to check for any messages from Taehyung, silently cursing himself. Even when he didn't want to he couldn't help but fucking care.

He wishes he could just stop caring.

His phone rings after a while, his mother's number showing up on the screen before he answers. "Too late."

"Shut up," She says on the other line. "Where the hell are you? You can't call me fifteen times back to back then not answer any of my calls or texts."

"I needed you to talk me down but I already talked myself down." Jeongguk says kicking at some loose gravel as he walks.

"If you needed someone to talk you down you should've called your sponsor." His mom says. "What's got you upset? Taehyung again?"

"It's always Taehyung isn't it?"

"Fair."

Jeongguk sighs. "I told him I relapsed."

"Why?" Mrs. Jeon asks. "I thought you said it was better if he didn't know."

"Monica called and he picked up the phone. I had to tell him." The ravenette says. "He freaked out, just like I expected him to. Then I freaked out and we both were freaking out."

"You fought in front of the kids?" His mother asks in concern.

"No, we were upstairs." Jeongguk says. "But they saw me leave. I'm going back I just need a break."

"I understand, you can take a break, Jeongguk." Mrs. Jeon says. "Where are you?"

"I went to that bar I used to go to all the time." Jeongguk sighs. "I didn't drink, but I wanted to. I wanted to really fucking bad."

"I'm glad you didn't." His mom chuckles.

"My head is killing me," The ravenette complains, running his fingers through his hair. "I wish you were here."

"I could fly you out for the week."

"I can't leave, Taehyung might need me."

Mrs. Jeon hums in understanding. "Are you going back tonight?"

    "No, I can't take Taehyung's judgement." Jeongguk says shaking his head. "I don't know why he has to make me feel like this, ma. I keep telling myself it's my fault and that he has every right to be upset but that's not the case this time. I don't think I did anything wrong. Besides the drug test thing, but people get out of drug tests all the time."

    "You didn't do anything wrong. Addiction is a powerful thing, Jeongguk, and relapses can be triggered by anything. Even after years of sobriety." Mrs. Jeon says. "Taehyung should be supporting your recovery, not tearing you down. Which he's done numerous times."

    "I don't get how I can love him so much and it feels like he doesn't love me at all sometimes..."

They both fall silent for a moment, Jeongguk's thoughts traveling back to the time in his life when his addiction was at its worst...before he even met Taehyung.