Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
You sat at the table looking at your cup of much needed coffee. For you were sitting there, staring thinking of why you needed it, there was two down sides to rooming next to Dean Winchester. The first was the girls he would bring over and then have loud, annoying sex with them before they left in the morning to never be seen again. It was the sole reason you had a dependency on coffee. What is the other down side to rooming next to Dean Winchester, the fact that you were hopelessly in love with him.
In your line of work loving someone is dangerous and never ends well, for hunters never have happy endings, much less happy lives. I mean just look at the boy's life so far, Demon killed Mary, father was absent, kids grew up fending for themselves, Sam left and was happy away from the life for a bit, and Dean was torn up by his brother's absence but wouldn't let his father see that, then demon kills Jess, Sam gets back in the life, their father dies, their friends die, they die and come back. they have been to hell, stopped the apocalypse, kill demons and other things that bump in the night. You sometimes wondered how you weren't died yet.
Loving someone is dangerous by itself though, you pondered the thought of love every day, while staring at your coffee. You sat through and watched your two best friends go through it all, you met Dean after Sam left for Stanford, met his father, then his brother, saw them save the world countless times, and helped them pick up the pieces when they needed it. You were the one cuddling Dean when he had a nightmare, or making tomato and rice soup when he's sick, you learned how to play Hey Jude on the guitar for him, you were there when he need a shoulder to cry on, a laugh, a smile. You were also there for the good, like when you all met Castiel who has saved all of your asses so many times, or for the days where you just all want pie, you were there when Sammy got his soul back, when Dean got out of hell. You were always there, but as nothing more then a sister to the two of them. You would follow the Winchesters to the ends of the earth and gank monsters with them, but the one you loved would never see you as nothing more. You knew in your head you need to get out, for a few days, months, or maybe forever. The thought had crossed your mind, but you never could see a life without them.
And I... I'm feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I... will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
"Get out." I whispered to the blonde haired girl in my bed, she lazily rolled out and made her way to the bathroom as I looked at the wall that divided my room from hers. I loved her, I always did, after Lisa, after I went to hell, after all the shit she has seen me go through, or the shit I have told her about she still stood by me. She was my angel before I got Cas. But now, I was scared, scared to admit that I might love her, that I wanted to cuddle her for once, or that I want to hold her hand, I want to act like we are not destined to crash and burn like all the other hunters before us. I just wanted her, but instead I am pushing her away. She still acts the same but I can see the light that was once in her eyes when I was around growing dimmer and dimmer, and I am scared of what will happen if the light goes completely out.
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm scared that if that light in her eyes goes out, she will leave, she will never come back. I don't want her to leave and then have something happen. She means too much, not even Lisa would make me tomato and rice soup, or learn one song on guitar for me, yes Lisa cuddled or comforted me after the nightmares where I would scare the living hell out of her, but it was never like [Y/N], with her it's different, maybe because I have told her everything while I was trying so hard to keep the life away from Lisa and Ben. I mean it didn't entirely work but it's ok because they don't remember. Maybe I was being silly though, she knows how hunters end up, know we can't love in this line of work, but what if we broke the trend. I heard the blonde leave the room, I needed to wash last night away before I told her, I needed to tell her.
And I... will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
Why were you staring at the coffee afraid, jeez who cares about how hunters are suppose to end up, if it was meant to be, it was meant to be. You started to walk towards his room, which only had a wall separating you two when you were in there alone. On your way to confess your feelings though you ran into the girl from last night leaving the bunker, never to be seen again, however a different girl would be there tonight, and I doubt that girl would be you. Who were you joking, he would never love you. For that reason, for him being unable to love you like you loved him, you needed to leave, possibly forever. You entered your own room and heard his shower going, you needed to be quick so you just throw a bag together as quickly as possible, and ran from the room. You scribbled a note in the kitchen before running for the car and starting it up. As you pulled away you looked at the bunker one last time, "Goodbye Sam", then your voice dropped to a whisper, "Goodbye Dean."
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-Ooh)
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something...
As I shut the water off I thought I heard a car, but I must have been imagining it. I quickly dried and dressed, hearing nothing from her room I was figuring she was still sleeping. If there is one thing I know about [Y/N] she loves when I make her a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs and cheese with a bagel and cream cheese. I started heading towards the kitchen, ready to prepare her breakfast in bed, when I heard Sam's tiny whimper, the one he does before sobbing. I hurried my steps and found Sam sitting at the table, a abandon cup of coffee and a note in Sam's hand. As I stepped closer I could see the tears all down Sam's face, he just handed me the paper, looking at me with his puppy dog eyes as I looked at the note.
Sam,
+1 (908)687-4593
in case you guys need me
Dean,
I love you but I'm sorry, Goodbye.
Love,
[Y/N]
The tears slowly rolled down my own eyes, she loved me, but was gone. I took my own phone and dialed the number, I went straight to voice mail:
Hello you have reached [Y/N], if this is an emergency call the Winchesters, they are hella good hunters, if you are calling about a job, then leave your name, number and monster, and if you are Dean then I love you.
"Hey, I need you. You need to come home. I was a fool, I shouldn't have panicked and pushed you away. I was too scared to say it before but today I was going to tell you I'm done with the hook ups, because I love you too. I need you to know that I love you too, please, baby come back."
