Limerence • Auli'i Cravalho (gxg)

Flaws*

"Are you okay?" Gretchen asks in a quiet voice, studying your face closely.

No.

"Yeah." You shrugged, focusing your eyes on the whiteboard and teacher at the front of the room.

"You alright?" Regina shot you a look, "What's going on with you? You're not yapping about like you usually do."

"No, nothing." You replied dismissively. Why'd she notice anyway?

"y/n, what...what are you doing? You've got the answer wrong." Cady mentions.

"What?" You snapped out of your trance, shaking your head slightly as though to get rid of the unwanted thoughts. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry- I just-"

Just felt like crying, honestly.

"Maybe you should sit this one out." Aaron says, "You look a little pale, are you sure—"

"Yeah, why the heck not?" You cut him off, grabbing the dodgeball and then threw it back to him.

Your day was going...alright— arguably.

"y/n, what is going on with you? I literally called for you twice and you just stared at your food."

"I'm fine. Just tired, Damian." You plopped the fork back onto the tray.

You spent half your school day without Janis since you both had, essentially- the same classes but at different times. After lunch was art class, where you'd see Janis for the first time since she picked you up from your house. "Hi, baby." She presses a kiss to your cheek before taking her usual seat in class. You sat down beside her, your mind drifts back to last night's useless quarrel with your Mom and Dad.

Janis was watching, you could feel it. But you continued looking straight ahead at the front of the room. You couldn't lose it now, not after you've tried so hard to keep it together and you weren't about to just...give up.

"Okay." Janis' voice pulled you back, "We're ditching, let's go."

"No." "Yes, come on. Before Mr. Riley gets here." She insisted. Next thing you knew, you were being led out of the school by Janis and into her Mom's car. She'd texted her Mom to come and pick the two of you up, and she did. But quickly left the house after you two'd been dropped off to go run errands.

"It happened again, didn't it?" Janis asked knowingly while shutting her door.

You scoffed, avoiding eye contact with her. Janis sat down beside you and carried on speaking, "I told you- you don't have to pretend with me. You do enough of that every fucking day, trying to care for your sisters, your Mom, yourself."

Damn, she really was always listening whenever you'd vented to her.

"I'm sick of it, you know? Have to re-parent myself, gentle parent myself- it's ridiculous. They made me this way and yet I'm the one doing all the work? While whatever's made me like this is still happening?" Your voice quivered, you sniffled, got up and walked to a corner of her room to avoid having her see you like this. Upset, teary, weak.

Janis saw a side of you that everyone else failed to see: the little girl inside you pleading to be loved and cared for instead of being picked on or dismissed. Or having every little flaw of yours scrutinised. Every time after you'd poured your heart out to her, you brushed it off as 'being in a mood'. But she doesn't. Janis knows it means something and has been helping you all this time. To undo the damage that's been done to little you. Janis allowed you to express your emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, anxiety, disgust...all of it. She's never once held you back but instead stayed along side you while you did what you needed in the moment, felt what you needed to feel in the moment. Janis knew every little quirk of yours like the back of own hand, she knew what made you happy, and what made you not so happy. She knew exactly what to do in any given moment which has made you feel like her burden. Which...you'd expressed in passing but she didn't agree. Janis immediately shut you down. But you insisted, saying it wasn't her job to fix you.