Requests: Open
I write what I want to read, but can't seem to find. So here it is. Irregular updates. May contain mature themes, MDNI. Chapters marked with asterisks are originally published on my Tumblr.
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Winter has gone, and so did spring. Day after day, week after week and month after month. The loss of Malia and your first baby boy, Nālani continually weighted down your hearts. But life still went on without a pause. Some nights, memories haunted you and Janis. Other nights, you were on cloud nine, feeling like nothing could stop either of you. Today was June 21st: the first day of summer, also the day you lost Nālani a year ago. It's been 165 days since Malia has been gone. From the moment your eyes peeled open, you've had a heavy feeling in your heart.
"Hi, darling." Janis walks in. You blinked at her, blankly, trying not to burst into tears. Janis seemed to just know it. "I'm so sorry." You sniffled looking away from her as you frantically tried to swipe the tears away with your fingers. "I can't help it, I'm sorry."
You were woken up by the familiar nightmare of events from the day you lost him. You weren't even thinking about anything related to that recently but it crept up on you anyway. "It's alright." She held you in her arms, "It's alright, baby." "I didn't want to cry today. I just- I hot a dream about that day and it just—"
Janis shushed you, rubbing your back. You let go of the teddy bear, struggling to get out of her embrace to go wash your face. "No, no. Hang on, baby. Hang on." She held you back, "You don't have to hurry yourself. Cry if you need to cry." The miscarriage was the single most painful thing that's happened to you until you went through Janis' whole situation with Malia and the recovery— which had been traumatic for you and her both. The physical pain and shedding of leftover fluids and tissue took weeks to settle down. And all she had left was a big scar on her abdomen and memories that have scarred her for life.
The teddy bear nearly falls, but Janis catches it and put it back onto the bed safely. You had one, Janis had one too. They slept in bed together with the two of you, for comfort. The silence was then suddenly broken by a string of doorbell rings and the intercom buzzing, "Open up, you two. We're here for you."
"Shit." You pulled away, "I need to go wash my face."
"Okay, be careful." Janis slowly broke away, "I'll go let them in."
As you slowly kicked off the blanket, you crawled out off bed and walked into the bathroom. As you did your morning routine, you here Janis greeting Regina, Gretchen, Cady, Karen, Aaron and Damian— in that order. "I made breakfast. Help yourselves."
"And I brought drinks." Regina quipped.
"For breakfast? Regina George, my, my." Damian's voice was heard.
"We need a treat, okay?" Regina answered while you dried your face.
"Is she awake yet?" You heard Gretchen asking.
While you changed into a different set of pyjamas— because you all were staying in, you heard the bunch of them chatting. Then, you walked outside to join them. They all greeted you with hugs, like always. As you dug into your breakfast, Janis' hand rested on your knee as she ate as well. The conversation was kept lighthearted, for obvious reasons but very appreciated that this came naturally to them.
