There Can Only Be One

Christmas Lights

Christmas-

It was their first Christmas without Jessica. On the morning of Christmas it wasn't like it used to be. Not all of the spirit was there. Sam wanted to make it special, but it was even hard for Sam to boost everyone's spirits when his were down. His heart ached, he missed Jessica so much. He wanted to hold her in his arms again. He missed everything about her and the energy she brought into the room.

Kennedy was a bit down herself. She depended on Sam. Sam helped her with everything Jessica used to help her with. Sam learned new things everyday like how to braid hair and etc. Kennedy was a big help. She helped Sam and taught him things that Jessica had taught her. She helped out with her brother also. Camden was a happy baby. He sensed that everyone was upset around the Christmas holiday, so he was a bit quite himself.

"Merry Christmas!" Sam exclaims. He had Camden in his arms and bursted into Kennedy's room.

Kennedy was wrapped up in her covers. Sam could hear her crying from underneath the covers. He sighed and walked over to her bed.

"Dada? Kenny O-K?" Camden says

"Kennedy?" Sam sits down and lifts up the covers. Kennedy was drenched in tears. Her body was warm and shaky.

"Are you okay?" Sam says softly.

Kennedy slowly lifts up her head and cries into Sam's chest.

"No! I want mom!"

This was the first time in a few weeks that Kennedy had cried or talked about Jessica. She kept all of her emotions bottled in. She never talked about it, with anyone.

"Oh Kenny, I do too. But mom would want us to enjoy Christmas. She would want us to be happy."

"But I want her here. We can't always get what we want!" Kennedy snaps. She coughs, and starts to overwork herself.

Sam tries to calm her down.

"It's frustrating as hell, I know. We can't be angry Ken, mom wouldn't-" Sam stopped and sighed

"It doesn't feel like Christmas without mom. Just like it doesn't feel like life without mom. Nothing is the same, nothing will ever be the same. She's gone! I hate God! God doesn't do this to people."

"Kennedy, don't talk like that sweetie. Don't hate God. God took mom away because she was in so much pain and so sick. He helped mom. He works in different ways. Some of his ways are confusing and frustrating."

"Tell me about it." Kennedy huffs

"Be happy Ken!" Camden smiles clapping his hands.

"Santa!" He exclaims

Sam smiles at Camden then looks at Kennedy. He wipes her tears off her face and looks at her.

"My darling Kennedy..."

**

On Christmas morning Sam tried to do everything that they usually would do, but alone. Sam made a big breakfast then let the kids open their gifts. After that they spent the day together watching Christmas movies and relaxing. Sam's mother, siblings, nieces, and nephews came to visit. They had a gift exchange and dinner. Three days after Christmas they planned on flying out to
Minnesota to see Jessica's side of he family.
Sam tried to get the kids out there as much as he could, he thought it was important for the kids to see Jessica's family.

**

Sam wrapped himself up in a heavy jacket and went outside to avoid all of the chaos for a little bit. Everyone was over at his house. He had too much on his mind and didn't want to be rude.