Wait For It | a Hamilton fanfiction | wattys 2017

Chapter 56

Later that night, Lana and Jessa were in their hotel room getting ready for bed. Lana was in her pajamas, with wet hair from her shower, sipping berry tea and watching West Side Story on TV.

"Lana," Jessa asks, "can I ask you something?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," Lana replies, slightly terrified. What did Jessa want to know?

"Are you feeling okay? You seemed really off during rehearsal, and it's taken hours for the color to return to your face. You were so pale."

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine... It's just... It's nothing. I don't want to burden you."

"Lana, if there's a problem, then we need to fix it," Jessa states.

"It's just... Well, James and I have known each other for a really long time. About five years, actually. We dated, and it was a really serious relationship. A few months before the tour, though, he started getting really overprotective and jealous. It got to the point of..." Lana trails off. "I'm fine. Really."

"Lana," Jessa says, sternly. "Tell me."

"Well, he started hitting me. If I wanted to go out with my friends or anything like that, he would hit me. If I even so much as smiled at another boy, including my brother, he would do it, too."

"Hold up. He slapped you for talking to your brother?!" Jessa asks in disbelief.

"Yeah. It was crazy. I broke up with him about a week into our rehearsals, finally, but then, a few days ago, he started texting me again. I just ignored it, but now... he's here," Lana says, tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh my gosh. Lana, I had no idea. Should we ask Lin to not cast him?"

"No. I'm already treading in deep water with Lin. I can't cause a problem like this," Lana tells Jessa, firmly.

"Alright... If you say so..." Jessa replies. "You know that I'm here if you ever need to talk, right?"

"Okay. Thanks," Lana says.

Lana, just do it. Jessa will understand. She just offered to be there for you if you ever need to talk, and she'd be a great first person to come out to, a voice in her head tells her. She's openly gay. She won't judge you.

Lana shakes off the thought. She's not ready for that yet. Especially not with the girl that she has a crush on. Jessa is being so sweet with her, and she doesn't want to scare her away. She's just starting to find a friend in Jessa.

Hearing her phone ding! breaks Lana's thoughts. She picks it up, and sees that it is a text from Lin.

Lin: I am excited to announce that I have hired James as our replacement as Brett moves up in the company. Congratulations to both of them! James will begin boot camp tomorrow to learn his blocking, choreography, and lines.

Brett: Just to add on to what Lin said, I'm very excited about this. I hope that you ensemblists will accept him just as you did me.

Lana groans.

"What's up?" Jessa asks.

"Lin just sent out a text saying that James has been officially hired. I didn't even know that he could sing, much less dance. I'm pretty sure that he's just doing this to get to me!" she complains.

"Did you see him today? He obviously can't dance, and he was sharp on half of his notes. He must have run into Carleigh, like, five times. Of course he's just doing it to get to you!" Jessa replies.

"Wow, way to make this better," Lana rolls her eyes. Jessa laughs.

"You're right. I just find it incredibly creepy."

"Me too, trust me," Lana says. "But I guess I have to put up with it now. It's too late. There's no way to stop it."

"Don't worry. I'll try to keep the two of you apart as much as possible if it makes you feel any better," Jessa offers. "It would be worse if you were in the ensemble."

"Yeah. Thanks Jessa. Thanks for everything."

"What do you mean?"

"Thanks for being my friend this whole time, even when nobody else was. I'll never be able to repay you for that."

"Lana, I know that feeling. I was the outcast in high school, and I never want to see anyone have to go through what I went through. You're a lot more amazing than everyone else gives you credit for."

Jessa pulls Lana into a hug. Lana knows that it's just a kind gesture, but she can't help but feel a little bit giddy inside. She tries to tell herself to snap out of it, but she just can't. It's a feeling that she hasn't felt since when she first met James. Lana shudders at the memory.

Why me? Lana asks herself. She wonders why James chose her to love, why James chose her to abuse, and why it was her, out of everybody in the world, that had to end up bisexual, and with a crush on her roommate.

She knows that she's gotten herself into quite the pickle.