Raven [BTS × You] ✔

Defiance & Submission

"Who was he to you?"

You don't miss the undertone of jealousy in Jungkook's voice, the tiniest spark of annoyance and smugness fluttering through you.

"Chani was a close friend of mine," you respond simply. You would've teased him if the circumstances were different, but your heart is still aching from the friend who now has no part in your life.

"Pabo, leave her alone," Jin scolds from his spot next to you on the couch when he sees your dull eyes. "She's been through a rough patch."

"Yah, she's tougher than she looks. Don't underestimate her," Namjoon smiles kindly at you from where he is getting some drinks ready on the island counter, but you don't miss the flash of concern in his eyes.

You manage a smile back. Truth is, Chanyeol's death hurts...but not as much as the realization that Baekhyun is probably just one of thousands who despise you.

What they don't see is that all of this is a huge sacrifice for their sake. You are doing this for the people...the very ones who obliviously hate you.

You sweep your silky hair behind your ears and look around the room to try and brighten your mood, your lips twitching as you see the seven ethereal faces you've come to rely so heavily on.

You had called Dae-Jung earlier and filled him in. He didn't try to make you talk, but just let you know that this is to be expected in the dangerously cruel Mafia world. He told you to take some time with the boys, claiming that you've, "grown attached to those fine young men, which is perfectly acceptable by me. Just appreciate those who love you."

You almost roll your eyes remembering that. Love. Your life had decided long ago to keep you far away from that. You can't recall the last time you've even seriously considered romantic love.

Chanyeol was loved.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose to release the stress and whisk away the hurtful thought. It's been a hard time. You haven't slept after the Meet and it's now 11 in the morning and you're starting to get irritable. The added ache of melancholy and the resultant anxiety of the direct threat from the Silver Moon members dosen't improve your mood.

When you spoke about it with the boys in the car on the way home, Hoseok hugged you closely as Namjoon tried reassuring you that the threat was an empty one since only those four Silver Moon members carried out the murder.

He'd said that now that they've learned not to mess with you, they won't go after anyone else, especially once Gyeong finds out about their 'secret' plans.

You had just quietly nodded, gloomy and dismissive of his words. You realize now that he didn't understand that you can't risk it. You have to decide: yourself or your loved ones? You or the innocents? You or the people?

A groan slips past your dry lips. This isn't working. The more you try to flush out the thoughts, the more they come flooding in.

Jimin puts a small, warm hand on your thigh and you flinch, mouth pulling down in distaste at the action before you can control it. His gentle smile deflates briefly before he forces it back up. "Mimi, why don't you drink some water then head to bed, hm? It's been a while since you've slept."

You stuff your tongue in your cheek in annoyance. "I'm not tired, Jimin. If you feel sleepy then the stairs are right over there."

The light in his eyes dims as you completely ignore his use of nickname for you and push his hand away.

Taehyung notices and frowns. "Min, c'mere. You know she isn't feeling the best right now."

You grit your teeth. Sometimes, the care and affection of so many people at once feels suffocating because of your past lack of it. "Look, guys, thanks, but I'm fine, okay? Just please- just let me figure out what to do."