Marvel Oneshots - Book 4

Bucky - His Eyes

(This is a bit odd actually no it's really messed up, anyway. Trigger warning, self harm and abuse)

This world isn't kind. Living with the Avengers you definitely found that out pretty fast. Especially after you'd become friends with Bucky again after you had reunited after being in Hydra.
You knew just what he went through, with Steve or as they call him, Captain Hydra. For as long as you were in Hydra Steve was obsessed with Bucky, obsessed was an understatement. He wanted Bucky to be his perfect toy soldier and he would go to any lengths to do so.
You laid awake in your bed late at night, suddenly you had a dreadful feeling. You knew Bucky was in trouble.
You threw off the covers and ran across to his room to see his bed in shambles. You ran to the bathroom to see he had been carving small stars into his skin just like Steve used to.

"I'll always be yours." He whispered as he began on another star, you quickly knelt down and grabbed onto the small knife.

"Bucky." You whispered as he looked up at you with red teary eyes.

"Y/N, w-where's Steve? He'll be proud of me won't he?" He said smiling a little as you heart broke.

"Darling it's okay, Steve isn't here remember?" You whispered wiping away his tears as he kept his eyes on you.

"He left?" He asked in a small voice, you knew how good Steve was at manipulating and you knew in some twisted way Bucky missed Steve. Heck, even you missed him sometimes.

"No sweetie, we left. We're safe now, we take care of each other. Would you like to go sit on the bed?" You asked him as he looked at you in confusion. You knew like this he couldn't make his own decisions.

"Go sit on your bed for me darling, I'll get the first aid kit." You said as he nodded and let you help him stand up, he waddled over to the bed and sat on the side of it while you grabbed the first aid kit from the cabinet.
You came out to see him obediently waiting for you. You placed the first aid kit and grabbed out some rubbing alcohol for the wounds.

"I'll start cleaning the wounds, hold onto me if it hurts." You said as he looked up at you and nodded.
You started on the wounds on his chest, he had carved over some new ones. As you cleaned the wounds Bucky's hand went to your hips and held on.

"You're being so good for me." You whispered as he closed his eyes and sighed softly. You knew your Bucky was slowly returning.
You finished up on his chest and went to his thighs where there were more scars.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as you looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Shh love, there's nothing to be sorry for. You're being such a good boy for me." You whispered as he looked into your eyes and smiled a little. You knew how much he loved to be praised and reminded he was doing the right thing.
You finished cleaning all of the wounds and placed bandaids over all of them before you leant down and kissed his forehead.

"I miss him." He whispered as you looked down at him.

"Bucky, I can't. It'll make it all worse." You replied as he looked away.

"Please, I just need...I need to hear his voice." He whispered hopelessly as you closed your eyes and sighed. You promised yourself you would stop doing this after the last time, but you also knew how much it helped Bucky.

"Alright." You said as he looked up at you.
You were a shapeshifter, after you left Hydra you didn't shapeshift for a long time. But whenever Bucky missed Steve you would change into Steve, voice and all and help him. You knew it did damage, made it even harder for Bucky to forget Steve. But you also couldn't bare to see him in pain.
You took in a deep breath and focused your energy to change your form.
You opened your eyes and looked down at Bucky, obviously being much taller in Steve's form. You reached forward and caressed the side of his face as his breathing became unsteady. You even recreated Steve's Hydra uniform onto you.

"Have you been good?" You asked speaking with Steve's voice as Bucky's breath hitched in his throat.

"I have been sir." He replied staring into your eyes as you smiled a little.

"That's my good soldier." You said as he closed his eyes and nuzzled into your hand.

"Thank you, I'll be good. I'll always be good for you." Bucky said, you couldn't help but look down at him sadly.

"Let me go soldier." You replied softly as he opened his eyes again.

"No, no I can't. I-It's like you said, I was made for you. I'm yours, Steve please. Please don't leave me. I'll be perfect I promise." He said with tears in his eyes.

"You're more than just a toy or an asset. You are a hero and a beautiful man, let me go Barnes. Start a new life, I know it will hurt and it will take a long time. But whenever you see me you take a step backwards, keep going forward. Learn to see yourself as more than just Hydra's toy." You whispered to him as he looked into your eyes and nodded.

"You're right Y/N, I'm sorry." He whispered as you returned to your true form and hugged him tightly.

"I'm here, I'm always going to be here. I love you so much." You whispered as he hugged you back tightly and began to cry.

"You're not alone, I'm going to help you I promise. You're so amazing Bucky, and so good for me." You said making him bury his head on your chest and cry.

"Let it out, I've always got you my darling."

(I'm sick as shit and maybe delusional from all the medication but hope you liked it)