Forever and Always Yours, SS [Book 3]

Chapter 79

Severus watched as Amilia stood in the middle of their chambers, visible waves of relief washing over her. He stood there, taking in the sight. Her clothes were torn and singed; her hair had been cut short with what Severus assumed was jagged. She cradled Jordan to herself and wept softly.

"Do you need anything?"

"Water." She croaked out.

When Severus returned, he found his girls lying in bed together. Jordan was sleeping peacefully, and Amilia was holding her little hand. He handed her the water, and she shook her head, putting her free arm over the baby, and cradling her to her chest. Severus sat the glass of water down and took Jordan off the bed. Amilia protested loudly and with sudden tears, "Please give her back!"

Severus laid her down in her bed and sat beside Amilia on their bed, "No, we need to talk."

Amilia wept, "I don't want to talk. I just want to hold my daughter!"

"You have not let her go since you returned to the castle," Severus said softly.

Amilia looked up into his eyes, "I need to hold her." She shifted to get off the bed, but Severus wrapped his arms around her. "Severus, please!"

"I need you to tell me what is going on in your head. I can look but I don't want to, I want you to open up about this."

Amilia shook her head, "I want my daughter."

"Why?" Severus held her close.

"I almost lost her!" Amilia wrenched herself from his arms and grabbed the baby from her bed. She stood there with her nose in Jordans's hair, crying softly.

Severus did his best not to sigh as he got off the bed; he gently wrapped his arms around the both of them, "You are here though, a little banged up but here."

"No, Severus, you do not understand." Amilia said, her voice an unsteady sound.

"Then help me understand."

"Dying would not have been the worst part."

Severus scowled; how could dying and seeing neither of us not be the worst part?

Amilia turned in his arms, facing him and Jordan between their bodies, "He threatened her. He...Ritchie had Amorentia."

Immediately Severus looked away from her, "He was going to force you to drink it."

"He said he was going to kill the both of you and then fuck me next to your grave."

Severus closed his eyes, finally understanding why she could not let their daughter go. The instant fear and realization that if you had gotten a moment of clarity between doses, you would know what had been done. He opened his eyes again and looked at his little family in his arms, "Put her down, please."

"Severus I can't."

Severus slid his hands underneath their daughter and carefully lifted her from her mother's arms. He laid her down and took Amilia's waist in his hands. Jordan protested. Her little whimper was enough to shatter his heart if it had not already done so with her mother's recent statement. Amilia's eyes never left Jordan, confirming his thoughts; you would have killed yourself the moment you had a chance if he had succeeded in his venture.

"You said you killed him," Severus asked calmly.

Amilia nodded.

"How?"

She finally tore her eyes away from Jordan and stared straight into his, her breathing becoming more erratic. "They can't prove it with my wand."

Severus studied her face earnestly, "What do you mean?"

"I can't leave her here thinking that I am some monster. I don't want to go to Azkaban." Her bottom lip trembled, and she started to shake like a leaf.

"I assure you, you are not going to go to Azkaban and she will never think that you are a monster."

"I killed him, Severus!"

"You were protecting yourself and Eric!" He gave her a little shake, trying to bring her out of the spiral that she was on. "I know you Amilia, you would not have killed him had you had any other option!"

"He was going to hurt her." Amilia grabbed his arms as her knees gave out.

"He can't do that now. You made sure of it." Severus helped her to the floor, stroking her hair as she collapsed into a puddle of tears.

"Look." Amilia said between sobs. "Look."

Severus shook his head, "I can't."

"Look."

Severus exhaled deeply before delving into her mind to watch the whole incident. He felt every pang of guilt, remorse, fear, and rush of adrenaline that she did. The fire engulfing the cottage and the acceptance of death. The memories she chose to think of in what she thought were her final moments. "I am so sorry I was not there for you."

Severus sat next to Eric's bed, "She is...as to be expected."

"I have heard her cry, but not like that." Eric struggled to say.

"You do not have to talk." Severus poured the man a drink from the nearby pitcher.

"I have to know if she is going to be okay."

"Is that the closest you have been to Amilia since you two broke up?" Severus asked, ready to get the question out of the way.

Eric swallowed, pain searing through his face, but he avoided looking at Severus.

"Well?"

Eric nodded and sipped his drink from the glass slowly. "She told you?"

"In a way." Severus drawled, "I am sorry that you got dragged into this."

"I told her not to do it."

Severus pursed his lips, recalling hearing Eric's voice in the background of her memory.

"Is she going to the prison thing?"

Severus shook his head, "I will do everything in my power to make sure that she does not go there. She was defending you and herself. I doubt the courts will convict her in that manner."

"But they will find her guilty of using the Killing Curse. Isn't that the reason why whats his face went to prison?"

Severus watched as Eric forced the words out; the wheeze he took between sentences made Severus shiver with pain. He could only imagine how Eric was feeling. "Yes, that is why Clearwater was there, but that was a different circumstance. He used it with intent; he wanted to hurt her to get her incapacitated enough that he could drug her. He had no remorse until he was sentenced."

"You were there?"

Severus nodded.

Eric raised his eyebrows as if he was not surprised. "She hit the ground so hard, I thought her knees were going to shatter."

"Thank you." Severus said softly enough that Eric looked as if he questioned it. "You tried to get her back to us, even though I know that you despise me with everything you have."

"Not everything." Eric croaked, " I know for a fact that she was thinking of you when we thought we were dying." Eric dropped his eyes to his hands, "I saw how torn down she was when she came to the U.S. but she has never lit up like that until I see you walk in the room."

Severus looked down as well; he was not sure how to proceed.

"I am glad that she is happy, even if it's not with me." Eric tapped Severus's shoulder. "I know she has seen death, but that was the first one she did."

"It will stay that way." Severus said darkly, knowing the Dark Lord would use this as a card to get her on his side.

"No, I don't think it will. You and Jordan are going to be the reason for each one, but this won't be the last. Not with a war coming."