Forever and Always Yours, SS [Book 3]

Chapter 80

The next few weeks crawled by, and Amilia still refused to be far from Jordan. It was beginning to drive Severus nuts, he wanted to comfort her, but she would not let him, not after she broke down that day.

"Amilia, please, eat." Severus had set the table with all the things she loved to eat and pulled the little bassinet nearby so that she could still be close to their daughter, but she did not move from the window.

"Amilia!"

"What." She answered, sounding more annoyed than questioning. She continued cradling Jordan, who nursed happily.

"You need to eat, you have not been eating nearly as much as you should."

"I am not hungry."

"You keep saying that," Severus placed his hands gently on her shoulders. She did not move or jerk away anymore, which he thought was a bit of an improvement but not enough to his liking.

"I am not hungry." She repeated, annoyance creeping further into her voice.

Severus took several steps back and clenched his fists. He had had enough, "If you are not going to eat for you then you bloody better fucking eat for her!"

"What?" Amilia looked over her shoulder at him.

"Jordan depends on you to survive; if you do not eat for yourself, then eat to make sure she is getting everything she fucking needs!" Severus grabbed his jacket off the hook and stormed out of the room.

Amilia sat there, burping Jordan, who started to yawn sleepily. She stared down at the baby in her lap, Severus was right, and she knew it, but she could not bring herself to be separated from Jordan. Even going to the bathroom was unbearable; those horrid thoughts of waking up without her or Severus were too much, and she would start crying again.

Jordan started to grunt and fuss, her little face turning a slight shade of red. "Really?" Amilia grumbled; she looked around, hoping to find Severus so he could change her diaper, but then she remembered he had stormed off.

After changing Jordan's diaper, Amilia wandered over to the table, where she saw her favorite foods and some items that she could quickly eat with one hand. Amilia sat down, her elbows on the table as she rubbed her face. I am sorry. She sighed, "You went through all of this effort."

Severus walked around the castle grounds, the air of the Black Lake nipping at his ears. He did not know what else to do to help her; he felt she would yell at him for it if he suggested some therapy. He picked up a stone and threw it into the water, watching the ripples enlarge and disappear. He looked up, the sun was starting to set, and he craved the smell of his daughter if Amilia would let him hold her. I need to get back.

Severus shuffled his feet as he entered the castle; he walked into Amilia's classroom and paused. The dust had settled in a fine layer over the tables and the shelves, the fireplace was empty, and the windows shut tight, reminding him of the first summer after they had broken up. "I was so stupid."

"Everyone has their moments."

Severus turned slowly, meeting the gaze of Albus Dumbledore, "I seem to have had many of those moments."

"Are you concerned that she would not have experienced this had you married her the first time?"

Severus rolled his tongue over his teeth, not wanting to answer the old wizard.

Albus examined his fingernails, "I believe that it would have happened no matter what. Voldemort's return would have happened."

"You think that she deserves to have this happen to her? Is this what you are saying?"

"No." Albus said harshly, "I would not wish that on anyone, not even Voldemort himself, however, he would have found a way to return, one way or another. This is something I had thought about for some time but hoped would never happen."

"And that is why you never let me teach Defense Against the Dark Arts until now."

Albus raised an eyebrow at Severus, "No."

Severus scowled at him, "What do you want?"

"I was curious as to how Amilia is doing and to give you these." He pulled pictures from his sleeve.

Severus took them; the first picture they took was as a family sitting on a cramped bed. The second was an image Severus had never seen; Amilia sat in front of a window; he assumed it was her sitting room. She was looking out the window, beaming wildly. Something on her shoulders glittered in the light, and the Amilia in the picture turned to look at him and blew him a small kiss. "When was this taken?"

"That was the picture I took before she walked down the aisle at the first wedding."

Severus glanced up at Albus, "Thank you."

"How is she?"

"I do not know, she does not want to talk."

Albus nodded and clasped his hands before himself, "I will be leaving the castle for a small trip over the next few days."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, I am in the search for a lovely ring to add to my collection." Dumbledore fingered one on his hand. "I do hope that you and Amilia enjoy your time, I am sure that you will be running into Professor Slughorn at some point this summer."

"Yes, I am sure I will."

Albus dipped his head at Severus before leaving Amilia's classroom. Severus quickly descended the stairs to find Amilia sitting at the table, some food eaten and a scroll in her hand.

Amilia looked tired and happy at the same time.