From Something To Everything (Bounprem)

66. Opening up.

Prem realized that what he had missed the most during all these years was Fluke's cooking, when he gobbled down the spicy pad thai.

Slurping on the spicy noodles, he watched Fluke who was busy in the kitchen. Fluke had woken up before him and prepared breakfast for all four of them. The other two were still fast asleep.

"Tell me what it is." Fluke sat opposite Prem with his bowl of pad thai.

"Tell you what?" Prem asked.

"Whatever is bothering you." Fluke bit down on the savoury chunk of meat.

"Nothing is bothering me. I am fine." Prem brushed Fluke's questions away.

Fluke gave him a 'do-I-look-like-an-idiot?' Look.

"Alright. I am just not feeling well." Prem gave him. There was no way he could hide anything from his best friend.

"Not well? Are you having a fever?" Fluke put down his chopsticks and reached out to touch Prem's forehead. "You don't seem like you have a fever. Is it a hangover? You weren't drunk yesterday." Fluke frowned.

"Not physically, Fluke. Mentally. I feel exhausted." Prem pushed away his bowl and rest his head on the tabletop.

"Why? Is there something bothering you?" Fluke asked.

"It would be a lie if I say no." Prem chuckled.

"Prem, if you want someone to talk to, then I am here. You can tell me anything." Fluke patted Prem's shoulders.

Prem smiled and nodded.

After finishing their breakfasts, the duo sat on the bean bags that were placed near the sliding glass door that separated the balcony from the huge hall.

"So, tell me what's going on with you."  Fluke settled down comfortably.

"There is a lot going on. I don't know where to start." Prem sighed.

"Maybe... from the point where you found out that your hands are injured?" Fluke suggested after a deep thought.

Prem chuckled. He didn't know how, but Fluke always managed to pinpoint his troubles. Maybe that was the reason why he was willing to share all his troubles with him and believed that Fluke would help him figure a way out of the situation.

"I... I actually didn't think that I will have to leave the team when Khun Mo told me about my wrist problem. He had said that it was a minor surgery. I was actually surprised when I was asked to leave.

Even when I left the team, I was under the impression that I could rejoin them after recovering from my surgery. I took it as a vacation and focused on completing my degree. Little did I know that I would be suspended for another year and that I had several other injuries in my body that might intrude on my career as an athlete. It was only when I received the email saying that I was not allowed to enter the court for another year did I realize that this might be the end of my athletic career."

Fluke stayed silent. He could hear the melancholy in Prem's voice.

"I tried to act strong in front of everyone. I couldn't let anyone see my weakness. I tried to find ways to distract myself and studying was definitely not one of them." Prem laughed at his own joke while Fluke could barely smile feeling Prem's pain.

"That was when I met Hia. He was a good distraction. He helped me keep my mind off things that made me feel sick and even helped me with my studies." Prem paused and licked his dry lips.

"Everything was going well until I started catching feeling for Hia. I was aware that he didn't want a relationship more than being a friend with benefits with me yet I messed up. Maybe he understood my intentions and that's why he left me that night."  Prem choked at the end of the sentence. A single tear drop rolled down his cheeks.

Fluke held Prem's hand and slightly gave it a squeeze encouraging him to let it all out.

"That night when Hia left me, I got a call from Jie asking me to go back home. My Pho had a major stroke and my Mae collapsed hearing the news. I had no idea what to do at that point. I felt lost and helpless. I didn't know what to do if I had actually lost my parents that night." Prem cried.

"Prem..." Fluke couldn't find words to comfort him.

"When I found out that my Pho was partially paralyzed, I instantly knew that he will have to resign from his job was the only source of income to our family. I understood that I couldn't laze around any longer and wait till the one year ended and I could finally go back to the team, I had to find a job. Finding a job was easier said than done. I job-hunted for several weeks but was disappointed. It is not easy to find a job in today's competitive world. That was when our assistant coach got into an accident and I was called in as a temporary replacement.

Initially, I had been happy to take up the offer. It was good money and I could do something I enjoyed. But, it was not easy on me Fluke. It was hard to watch other members of the team play while I could only stand and watch. They could train, and they could compete. It was driving me mad with envy. I so wished that this whole year could go by quickly so that I could go back into the team.

I wouldn't say that life was truly harsh on me because it gave me a way out through the audition. I was initially very reluctant to do it. You know how nervous I get in front of a camera. But I was left with no other option and I only had little money on me after my pho-Mae's treatment and buying a building to start a sports coaching centre that I was planning to run while I was graduating.

I don't know if I should call myself lucky or unlucky for getting selected for the audition and ending up being Hia's on-screen partner. It was difficult facing him again. I... it's not simple to face a man who threw you away like a used piece of tissue. I tried... I tried my very best to keep my distance from him, to keep things professional and neat. But he wouldn't let me. He wanted us to go back, back to what we were before he left me.

I pushed him away again and again. Yet he bounced back every single time. In the end, I gave in to him and agreed to be together as if nothing had gone wrong between us. But it hurts Fluke. The scar he left in my heart is yet to heal and it hurts as hell every time he is near me." Prem was trembling as he sobbed.

Fluke scooted into Prem's bean bag and hugged him tightly. Prem laid his head on Fluke's shoulders and let his tears flow without restraint. He had let them out. Let them all out finally.