From Something To Everything (Bounprem)

110. Memories or Nightmares?

"In high school, I attended a totally different school. The atmosphere was different and there was no one from my previous school to accompany me. The place felt completely alien to me. It was nothing like the school I used to go to. Even though it was a private school, it still had many poor students attending it with scholarships. Hence there were all kinds of students there. I had a hard time fitting in.

To be honest, I was a little excited about the whole thing. Unlike my old school, no one knew my background. I was just a normal student attending the school. I felt that I could finally make genuine friends who come to me for who I am. But the difference between me and others was just too obvious that I couldn't find any friend there. That was when I met Colt."

At the mention of the name 'Colt' Prem subconsciously clenched his fist. He tried his best to maintain a straight face.

"Colt... he was my bench mate. He was almost a head shorter than me with pale skin and a thin waist. He was really pretty. It was only after meeting him that I realised that I am drawn to boys as well. He was my first love."

Boun glanced at Prem who was sitting still, waiting for a reaction.

Prem felt the gaze and turned to look at Boun. "What? Do I look like him?" he knew he did not. But the way Boun was looking at him with a tinge of guilt, irked him.

"No, definitely not." Boun panicked. He didn't want Prem to misunderstand him. Even though he used to find Colt pretty, he could assure himself that his Pao was ten times prettier inside out.

"Then why are you staring at me like that?" Prem's temper was getting to him. He was extremely jealous when Boun used the word 'love' with another guy when he himself had confessed to the older several times only to be turned a blind eye.

"You don't have a problem with that?" Boun asked cautiously.

"If I saw I have a problem, will you make a time machine and go back to the past and not fall for him?" Prem said controlling the outburst. He couldn't trigger Boun at this point. He wanted to hear Boun's side of the story.

"No," Boun answered meekly.

"Then?" Prem put the empty coffee mug on the nightstand. "He is your past, Hia and I accept it. It's not like I never had a crush on a guy before you. It is all in the past. He is not the person who hands you are holding now." He looked at their intervened hands. "And that is all that matters."

Prem's reply made Boun smile. He was happy that Prem was understanding towards him.

With newly gained confidence, Boun continued "I and he... we were part of the same study group and were part of the school's swimming club. Slowly we started becoming friends and from friends to best friends. He took me to his place to stay one night. It was my first time visiting a poor neighbourhood. I still remember that the place was pretty crowded and stinky.

I was really surprised when I first entered his condo. The whole condo was not even as big as my bedroom. I started feeling bad for him. He then told me that he used to live in that condo with his parents and siblings before they passed away in an accident leaving him behind as an orphan. His tragic story made my sympathy levels go up high. That night, we kissed for the first time."

Prem felt that he was lucky that he had kept the mug aside or else he was sure that he would have shattered it to vent the boiling anger and irritation he was feeling at that moment. 'Is he going to tell me about the first time he made out with him too?'

Boun who was oblivious to Prem's emotional change, went on narrating.

"Since that night we became closer. We never became boyfriends but we knew that what was between us was not just friendship. I became a regular visitor to the locality. I became friends with most of the people in the neighbourhood. He even introduced me to his friends from old school. I got along with them and I no longer felt left out. I became one of them. Everything was going smoothly until... until my sixteenth birthday... "

Boun sat up straight, preparing himself. Prem noticed it but pretended that he didn't. taking a deep breath, he spoke.

"It was my birthday and my grandparents were away. It was my parents who organised the party. I invited all my friends to my party as well. All of them came to the party without fail. But the problem was that they stood out like a sore thumb among all those rich people because of their appearance, dress and many other factors. I tried my best to make them feel at home but that didn't make much of a change.

As the birthday boy, I couldn't just stick to my friends. I had to greet guests that my parents were introducing to me. There, I wasn't their friend but the heir of the Guntachai family. When I was surrounded by some businessmen, my friends got cornered and bullied and I was totally clueless about the situation. But they still stayed for my sake. They didn't want to upset me.

Things started going when the cake-cutting ceremony was about to start. On the projector screen where they were supposed to be playing my birthday wishes, it showed photos of me and Colt. Those pics weren't photoshopped or anything but they were taken at such an angle that it looked more intimate than it was meant to be.

My dad was furious and started insulting Colt and his friends in front of the crowd. He ordered the guards to throw my friends out. They couldn't take it and left on their own.

I was so furious that I yelled at my dad. I created a scene there. I came out as bisexual in front of everyone. My dad raised his hands on me for the first time, without even caring about the guests watching us. He called me a faggot and said that he was ashamed to call me his son.

I argued back and hell broke loose. No one stopped us. My dad eventually disowned me and kicked me out of the house.

Truth be told, I wasn't really surprised by the way Dad reacted. But it was Mom who surprised me. Even though she always seemed to take a neutral stance, she still showed a little care every now and then. Yet that day, she sided with Dad, and that broke my heart."

Fresh tears started flowing down from Boun's eyes. Those memories were too painful to recall.