lauren // tig trager

27. It takes a toll

Tig stumbled in late that night, waking Lauren from her sleep. He was bleeding, Lauren jumped out of bed to help him.

"What happened?" She asked with worry, walking him to the bathroom.

"I did something bad" he mumbled.

She sat him on the toilet and started to run some water. Looking for a washcloth, her mind didn't focus on his words but his wound.

"Calm down, doll. I'm okay" he said.

She kneeled in front of him, cleaning the blood from his face. All that was left was a small cut on his forehead. The amount of blood was misleading and had Lauren in a frenzy.

"You shouldn't be here" he spoke once again.

"Where would I go, Alex?" She asked.

"Anywhere, I can't, I can't do this. I can't look at you and be with you knowing what I've done" he cried.

"Tell me then, Alex. What've you done? I'm here for you"

"I can't" he shook his head, refusing to tell her "you just gotta go, doll. I'm sorry"

He grabbed her face and kissed her hard. Making sure he remembered it before pushing her away from him. He couldn't tell her, it'd would make her a liability. She could spill and tell someone else, especially since she hadn't been around long.

She stood up and nodded, she understood. She stood at the door, looking back at him with his head in his hands as sobs racked his body. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him but she understood her place. It crossed her mind to talk to Brea but she decided not to, she had been through enough shit today. Instead she went to the bar and opened a beer to start her sleepless night.
*****
In the morning, Brea woke to an empty bed. She didn't think twice about it before walking into the main room. All she found was Lauren half asleep on the sofa. She walked up to her and took a seat next to her.

"Hey, did you sleep at all?" She asked her.

"No" Lauren shook her head "Tig and I, not good. I came out here and drank, a lot. I pretended to sleep when the guys came through for church and that sleep turned into a real sleep but I'm aware"

"Woah, what happened?" Brea asked.

"Tig came back, I cleaned a cut on his head and he told me he did something bad and then told me to leave. Said he couldn't look at me" Lauren laughed at herself "I really thought that this could work, so easy, without any problems. I'm such a fool, Brea"

"Don't say that, he's just gotta deal with his shit first before coming back to you. Give him time, don't overthink it, yeah?"

"Sure"

Lauren fell asleep on Breas lap by time church was out. Chibs stopped and looked at them. He leaned down and kissed Breas forehead.

"Mornin' lass" he mumbled, running his hand trough her hair "How are you?"

"Better than Lauren" she laughed "but seriously, I'm okay. Thank you. How about you? You okay?"

"Got to be. I'll see you tonight probably, gonna be a busy day unless you stop by outside and catch me. Also, tomorrow is Donnas funeral. Maybe after we can grab your things, yeah?"

"Alright, all sounds good" she smiled as he left.

Gemma had texted her, letting her know she'd be at Jax's place all day. She was helping Wendy with Abel and just wanted to be with him. Brea and Lauren would be alone for most of the day it seemed.
*****
Tig and Clay had a moment alone at Oswald stables. They went to him to get the case number for Opie and get to the witness.

"Beautiful animal, isn't it?" Tig said as he ran his hand down the horses back.

"Yeah" Clay spoke.

Tig turned and walked over to Clay, he leaned against the railing.

"Can I tell you something?"

"If it's about you and a horse, I'd rather not hear" he laughed.

"Last night, I couldn't look Lauren in the eyes. After killing Donna by accident, I feel this guilt I've never felt before. If I just would've gotten past this fear of looking before shooting at the car, she could've been alive and I would've had Lauren, but I couldn't. After Opie saved me yesterday, I couldn't take the shot I did have looking at him, that's why I couldn't look last night either" a tear fell from his eye.

"All that means is you have love for your brothers, I can't help you with Lauren, you gotta work that shit out somehow. You will if you really want to be with her, but you can't tell her anything" Clay told him while standing up and pulling him in for a hug "I depend on you so much for this shit, I forget the toll it takes"

All Tig could do was sit in the hug and think. It ate away at him to just give up and tell Lauren what happened. She was trustworthy, but there was still a fear that if she slipped up, he'd be dead. He couldn't do that. Maybe all he needed was time, that's what he hoped it all was.
*****
Lauren and Brea sat outside as night fell. All the boys were out still. Brea smoked a cigarette while Lauren just sat.

"You're finally leaving him?" She asked Brea.

"Yeah, I think so" she smiled.

"What made you do that?"

"I needed to feel safe, Chibs made me feel like that last night" she shrugged.

The roar of a motorcycle filled the air and their ears. Lauren stood up to go inside.

"Where are you going?" Brea asked.

"I'll leave you two" she smiled and went inside.

Chibs walked off his bike and towards Brea. He took her cigarette and took a drag for himself with a smile. She shook her head, remembering the first time that happened.

"We've got to talk, lass"