lauren // tig trager

110. Second guessing

Chibs had left his house to give Brea space. He went to TM to work on a bike. It was late, prospects leaving but Gemma was just arriving.

"Where are the prospects goin?" She asked as she walked in the garage.

"Early mornin pickup," he replied and took a shot "what are you doin here?" He wiped his hands clean as he walked to her.

"Haven't been sleepin much, figured I'd come and catch up on work here" she gave a half smile.

"Good, you can keep me company because I'm sick of this pain in the ass exhaust"

"You and Brea? Fix that yet?" She raised a brow.

"Dunno if I can fix that. She ain't leavin and I dunno if that makes me happy or sad. I jus' cannot watch her die because of this club, my life" he shook his head.

"Suck it up because she ain't goin. You can't make her leave. Wether she's with you or not, she's our family and will always be a target. Rather you be happy with her until the moment anything goes wrong"

"Aye, gotta propose soon too. After I mend this we'll go back to normal"

"How's the head?" She bounced to her next question.

He took off his head and tapped it with his fist "Still
hard. Haven't told Brea yet about that, I can't. But how are you doin?" He held her shoulders as she walked to the office.

"As long as my babies stay in check, I'm alright," she kissed his forehead "now go home to your daughter and old lady. Fix it with you guys. I'll close up"

"Looks like I can't do so, Bobby is here and looks like he's got news to tell"

Gemma followed Chibs out to the parking lot.

"Takin Chibs from his old lady" Gemma scoffed to him.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger" Bobby raised his hands in defense.

"I'll make sure to tell Jax too"

*****

Chibs got home around two in the morning. He walked in and saw the kitchen light was on so Brea had probably been up with Juniper. Walking upstairs he checked in the nursery and saw Brea feeding Juniper.

"I'm home" he whispered and she turned to see him.

"You know, Filip, what makes me most upset is the fact that after I accepted this, you don't. I didn't want to be associated with you guys, Lauren can tell you. But then, then I fell in love with this charming Scot—" she paused as her voice cracked "and ended up falling in love with his club and all his brothers as well. But then one night when a gun is shoved down my throat and I don't say that I love you back, you back out, push me away? It's just, I just don't get it" she shrugged, letting all her bottled up thoughts out.

"I woke up in a pool of my own blood, Brea. Frankie took me and was gonna kill me but he was too much of a coward. Me in the dirt on my knees with a gun to my head made it real. Realizing that if I died, you'd be alone-"

"But I wouldn't, I'd have the whole club behind me. I'd lose the love of my life but I'd be nowhere close to alone" she shook her head, quickly correcting him.

"I love ye, Brea, I do. I've made up my mind and I don't want you to leave. I don't want us to not be together because I need you. I can't imagine living without ya, mo ghra"

"I love you, Filip" she whispered back as she laid Juniper in her crib.

Chibs came and hugged her from behind as she was watching over Juniper. He held her close to him and kissed her neck.

*****

Lauren had woken up, uncomfortable from being in her dress from the wedding. Tig had sensed the movement and woke immediately. He hadn't ever come to a full sleep, just falling in and out of a half asleep state to make sure Lauren was okay.

"Hey, you alright?" He asked and sat up with her.

"Just need to change" she mumbled and rolled out of bed, taking her dress off as she walked to the dresser.

She changed into her pajamas and Tig has sat on the edge of the bed watching her. He was tired but Lauren was his priority.

"You know you don't have to be okay, right?" He asked her, eyebrow raised.

"I know. I just, I wanna go back to sleep again. It was so much better when I was asleep" she sobbed.

"Oh, doll" he sighed and walked to her.

He held her hunched over body in his arms. She held herself while she cried over her loss. Tig knew he couldn't take back what had happened, and she blamed him, this club.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he mumbled over and over to her.

"Let me sleep, please," she whispered "I was so blissfully unaware, it felt good. It was so much easier"

"Alright, I got you baby, I got you"

Lauren crawled back into her bed and Tig walked away. He took himself away from her for his own good. It hurt to see her hurt over something he could've stopped. He should've never Clay come, but that was his day one. He was Clays right hand, he couldn't tell him no, not yet.

If it wasn't three in the morning, Tig would've made his way to TM. He would've let them all know how he feels about what went down. It was cruel, to let club business come in front of his wedding day. And Chibs to do that, someone he had gotten so close with recently to kill his wife's father. For the first time in his life he was second guessing his brotherhood in this club.

Lauren laid in bed and she watched Tig leave. She didn't take it personally. What she did take personally was her fathers slaughter, by her best friends old man. It wasn't making sense, this club, she thought they were her family but clearly they weren't. The way they offer him with no second thought about her feelings scared her. First she was scared of herself and now she was scared of the people around her.